My Play By Play Review Of The Greatest Showman (Rant, More Like!)

My Play By Play Review Of The Greatest Showman (Rant, More Like!).jpg

So, when Zeke said I was too busy geeking out over musicals, this was it.  Blame The Piano Guys for doing a cover of ‘Rewrite The Stars’. I had to watch the original. Then I had to watch the whole movie. I’m here, right now, giving my whole reaction to The Greatest Showman. Here goes.

SPOILER ALERT. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. TURN BACK NOW.

Oh and by the way, this has 100% spoilers, so don’t read this unless you really wanna know.

Ok, great so far. Man, that deep “ladies and gents”. It is so chillingly awesome.

Young P.T and Charity are sweet. Mr. Charity’s dad is a professional JERK.

WHAT??? P.T’s dad dies?!?!?!

Dudes, let’s take a moment to appreciate Charity Barnum. She- seriously, we see her playful and playing with her daughters. And she’s so supportive of her husband, man. Hardcore. While’s we’re at it, this family-ness is awesome.

Ok. Woah. Sly moves with the sunken ships as collateral, P.T. Risky, but sly.

“May I ride the giraffe?” “You may- NOT.” PRICELESS!

Ahh Anne and W.D!

Woah. We see Phillip. Yuck, what is up with him and drinking? If it weren’t for the extreme and kinda overboard drinking, The Other Side might just be better. I mean, P.T. You a family man. Act like it.

*screams* Phillip meets Anne. O_O WAAA. And the look W.D gives Phillip. Awesome.

“Mr. Bennet, I am blushing!” Lettie is so cool with it.

Ahhhhh Caroline and Helen! Can we just awe over their interaction with the troupe?? I mean! And obviously, *cough cough*, their interaction with Phillip. Whaddya know, folks, he has a heart. And ah, so the fanfictions kept showing Phillip as a big brother to the Barnum girls. And the fanfictions did not disappoint. You can’t imagine the happiness I felt when I learned it was actually canon.  And argh what he says to Anne? Ahhh character development!!

No offense, but I feel like the queen laughing is kinda forced and fake. In real life, and at that time period, Tom Thumb woulda been in seriously trouble for being so rude.

Phillip looking at Anne. I like this.

P.T. looking at Jenny Lind. I DO NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL. P.T, you. are. married. And even without that aspect, he just wants to make money off her voice. Scoundrel showman.

I’ll grudgingly admit that her voice is good. AND DAT PART WHERE ANNE AND PHILLIP HOLD HANDS. Ahhh my heart is happy. But P.T, you moron. HOW DARE YOU SHAME THE TROUPE AND MAKE EM STAND. DUDE.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOO. He let go of her hand. ARGHHH I take back every nice thing I ever said about you! Dude. Dude. DUDE you and P.T oughta be hanged.

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Ok, I don’t blame P.T. for wanting to rub it in his father-in-law’s face, but DAT WRONG TIME.

And how dare he not treat the troupe as equals??? I mean- why??? Just to be with Jenny?? I NO LIKE DIS.

Lettie. Rock IT. YASS. POETIC JUSTICE. YOU BE YOU.

Does anyone think it’s weird for them to be hip hop dancing in the 1800s? It’s not bad weird, but I did think it was a little outta place.

SHOW HIM ANNE. YOU SHOW HIM WHAT A FOOL NINCOMPOOP HE WAS.

Yeah, back away Phillip. Be ashamed. You too P.T.

Phillip. Being reasonable. Good. “Why did Napoleon march into Russia?” “Napoleon was defeated.”  Love dis.

AHH WHERE IS THE MAN P.T USED TO BE??? It’s replaced with this greedy money hoarding.. scoundrel.

“How do ya think I built it?” Yo. with yo family.

On a lighter note, I love how Phillip and the troupe interact. As equals, not like he’s better than them.

W.D’s reaction when Lettie asks “don’t you have somewhere to be?”. He’s like, “this not happening.” It’s sweet.

This whole movie has me giddy.

Anne’s face when Phillip says “there’s meant to be two.” Phillip, you’re back!

DUDE NOOOOOOOOOO. Why did Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle have to ruin everything?? It was a legit date! WHYYYYYY

The pride Phillip has though when he introduces Anne. Hey, maybe there’s hope in the world. And then this anger when his dad insults Anne. MAN BRO.

MAN. He runs after her. I feel so bad though, they had a DATE for cryin’ out loud!

It seems kinda dumb for Phillip to burst into song, but hey. It’s a musical. No judging here.

Anne rams into him, and he catches her. THE MAN CATCHES HER. Keep him.

I love the character development of P.T. We see a very human side of him, a side that keeps wanting more. Respect to the writers. But honestly, Charity, he’s not worthy of you. Charity is hardcore. I dunno why she’s staying with him.

Oh lookee, Phillip’s growing up. Good for him.

Cinematography is good.

Argh Jenny has no right to be leaning on Phillip’s shoulder! DUDE MAN! Push the girl off!

I thought Jenny didn’t care about ovations. Liar. Bennet’s a jerk.

AHHHH NOOOO THE FLIRT!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I hate Lind, but she said something pretty true when she said, “When you’re careless with other people, you’re ruining yourself.”

OH NO. UH OH. Charity ain’t gonna be happy.

YAYY Phillip! Good to see ya!

NO I TAKE THAT BACK BAD TO SEE YA!

I like the fight scene though, everyone’s so into it.

NOOOOOOO. ARSON, REALLY??

*wails* Phillip don’t go back in thereeeeee

Ahhhhhh this is heartbreaking!

I can’t handle this heartbreak.

Mr. Bennet. Go hang or something, we don’t want you.

Actually, maybe we do.

NEVERMIND. No news is good news.

Charity, I feel you!

Lettie, whoo-hooo!

“When the glitter fades and the walls won’t hold.” Glad to see P.T’s coming around.

Finally the idiot wakes up. It only took Barnum the whole movie.

WHAT IS WITH THE DRINKING. AND THE DANCING.

Phillip wakes up. YASS

Deja vu. It happened all over again. P.T walks to Charity’s dad’s house, and the same thing happens.

“I wanted to be more than I was.” And you became less, P.T

MAN. Why they mash up From Now On and A Million Dreams??

A suit and a face full of bruises don’t go together. Just no.

Anne’s face. She be like, “that’s my man.”

And the happy ending.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that was a total rant.

Hehe, not sorry.

So, what does this movie add up to?

Hm, I’m no judge of character, mind you. But this movie, the familyness especially is something I’ve missed in movies. I’d have to give this 7/10, because some drinking and use of bad language, not to mention some “turn off the screen” scenes were in there.

But, for all of that, the plot was surprisingly solid. It was a plot.

Therefore, I like it. And I’m pretty sure that you guys are kinda shocked at the fangirl side of me, but as a writer, I really love the fact that this actually has a plot. So. 🙂

Thanks for reading. And don’t worry, there will be some tamer reviews of books coming around.

 

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9 thoughts on “My Play By Play Review Of The Greatest Showman (Rant, More Like!)

  1. I loved Charity too! She definitely was a good role model as a wife and mom in some ways. All the drinking was one of the problems I had with it too, like I thought that “From Now On” was going to be mostly sung on the beach at the end, but nope, most of it was in the bar, that was very different from how I had pictured it in my head. 😑 My mom said the same thing about the music, (that it didn’t fit the time period.) but my dad was very inspired to sing random things afterwards. This was super fun and funny to read! I love fangirling. 😄

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Uh I kinda gave up halfway reading the rant coz I couldn’t really follow. Not that I haven’t watched the movie (I’ve watched it twice) but it’s just ……… Anyway. Has anyone told you that your images aren’t appearing? Hmm I don’t know, little boxes just appear.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The Jenny and PT scenes made me scream too! I was like, Charity, MAKE HIM STAY HOME, or come with him, DON’T LET THEM GO ALONE. But NOOOO you HAD to ruin that beautiful love that was glorious!

    Liked by 1 person

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