So Far…

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School’s been very mean to me. It drones on and on and on anon and then suddenly, “please prepare for a test on section 4A.” Woah, where did that one come from?

To be honest, I’ve paid way more attention to news on A4– Avengers 4, that is… and…

The.

Trailer.

Is.

Out.

Today.

People.

*mind explodes* I’ve been watching it for at least the sixth time today and I have too many theories that will probably kill me.

I’ve also been waiting for anything on Album 66: Trial By Fire and my head hurts with all the possibilities of 1. Skint kidnapping Buck, 2. Buck being adopted, 3. a literal fire. Also, we do need to ask the question WHEN WILL JILLIAN DIE?

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Life’s been hard. There’s been so much tension and tiredness and homework and questions and times when I need. to. get. out and anxiety about the future and frustration and perpetually gritted teeth and always having to push yourself harder and harder even when nobody could care less or has to and screaming and fighting and praying and dying and I just need some peace today and tomorrow and for every second Sunday in May and it’s so hard to believe God is good even when He is and we’re out of bread and I gotta finish and I can’t remember the dratted reference and I’m okay with giving up right now.

Don’t we all? Something tells me I’m not the only one who’s had one or all of the above and much worse. And then I gotta re-learn how to trust again. I gotta re-learn that God is good and He is love and He won’t leave when the guns growl, which is handy because right now I’m afraid I’m short of ammo. So if you want to swap prayer requests, let me know.

And nobody wants to admit that. Nobody wants to admit they’re a quitter. Everyone wants to be the tough hero who gets the job done no matter what the cost. I really want that. I want to prove ’em wrong and wrong and so wrong… even when they’re right.

I guess I’m learning that burden was never mine to carry. That it was God’s all along.

Maybe some things shouldn’t be posted. I know I hate that long post that just lines on about how hard and sad life is, yet here I am writing one just like that. Why am I doing this?

If reading this can help someone, anyone, then it’s worth writing this drek down.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at.

I’m staying up ridiculously late to reads books and waking up ridiculously early to write them. I’m skating backward and falling forward and laughing. And mailing a letter or two.

Oh, and I got up at the crack of dawn for a lousy rendition of We Three Kings, so if you’re interested in notsogood and notsobad music, here you go.

Been wandering around taking random pictures, snapped this lovely one (ha!) and I guess I’ll leave it here.

It’s not Instagram worthy.

It’s not Pinterest worthy.

Good grief that mirror isn’t even the cleanest!

Well, it’s life. The less people feel pressured to display a perfect life on the screen and actually live, the better. The far, far better. And I know I’ve been tempted to do that. To show this aesthetic rose tinted life that’s full of roses and daisies and is just so Chikfila sweet tea wonderful. But it’s not.

That doesn’t mean my life isn’t wonderful. Or that God isn’t working in it. Because He is. More glory to Him, and less to me. I’m 110% okay with that.

Until next time.

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21 thoughts on “So Far…

      1. NOOOOOOOOOO! He was my favooooooorite! From before Homecoming, I watched Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO, why SPIDERMAN!!!!!!!! I mean, Black Panther’s death wasn’t as sad and depressing . But SPIDERMANNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Lee said he was watching the Avengers 4 trailer a bunch today too. πŸ˜›
    I am sorry life has been so crazy for you. 😦 God will get you through this. and i love you. πŸ™‚ ❀ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ll get through this, Jo! In your weaknesses, God is strong. ❀ I loved that We Three Kings rendition (you're so good at this aghhhhhhhhh) and hey do you mind if I quote you on this: "The less people feel pressured to display a perfect life on the screen and actually live, the better." It's so quotable. XD

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Awwe, Jo, God is good all the time! Trust in Him! (and while you’re at it, read James 1:2-4)
    Thank you for this, I’ve been really stressed out with a lot of stuff lately, and this reminded me that I’m not the only one who is, and also that what I’m going through is most likely not as hard as what everyone else might be struggling with.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I wish my friends would give answers like this when I ask how they are. The answer is always β€œI’m good.” Or β€œI’m fine.” Uh huh, sure, and I’m Darth Vader. I will be praying God will keep giving you strength and joy. And that you’ll get a chance to rest some soon. ❀️
    Your dislike of Jillian makes me laugh. πŸ˜†I don’t like her either, though killing her is a *little* bit harsh, don’t you think?
    That Endgame trailer hurt. I never want to watch Steve cry ever again. And someone GET TONY BACK HOME RIGHT NOW!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. XD Sure you are. I feel like I can do a tad better than “I’m good.” And thank you so much, it means a lot. ❀
      I don't dislike Jillian, I HATE her! πŸ˜› Why, why, why, just why?? Er…. yeah, you're probably right. But still!
      I've been watching it for a while now, and my poor poor poor emotions. TONY CAN'T DIE IN SPACE KAY THAT GOES AGAINST ALL THE LAWS OF NATURE!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ooo hey maybe she’s working with Mr.Skint, and will be sent to jail for a long time at the end of the album! Her flighty and naive personality could all just be a cover.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. GREAT SCOTT! That hiatus put me behind on reading your blog 😭😭😭 finally getting caught up now. But yes. Times have been rough. But I have been praying for you!! You pop into my mind all the time!!! ❀
    And being real on your blog is good. It shows that even though we’re not perfect, we’re gonna get through it. πŸ‘Œβ€
    And I LOVED that last pic you posted!! (I love your hair.)

    Liked by 1 person

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