Hard Stuff: Perfect Imperfection

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(Warning: this post is long and will include faith. Proceed with extreme criticism, and please call me out if I said something contrary to God’s word. :D)

I’ve never seen her that mad over something I didn’t think she’d thought was so important.

“You wore a ponytail to church- I just, do you even know what Mrs. D thought of you?? You’re just like the Z boys- you’re so unkempt and dirty and you’re so untidy- is this the kind of person I thought you people are?? And then you just HAD to go and bang the door didn’t you- just like you just HAD to forget that you’re a lady, you should look good- and you never listen to me on how to do things the proper way!!”

With everything in me…. OUCH.

That’s an understatement- I was devastated.

If it was anyone else, I couldn’t have cared less. But this was from someone really close and really special to me- someone I thought saw more than skin and hair.

Also, for the record, I had no clue the door would sound that loud. Honest mistake.

For the first time in a long time, I really felt my imperfection. And not just that it was there. But that it was horrible, disgraceful, and almost bordering on ungodliness.

We get posts saying how the media pressures us- especially girls, but honestly it does pressure guys too- to be perfect. But what if you’re in the rare minority that doesn’t care about the media?

What if it’s a PERSON that’s telling you how imperfect and wrong you were- and what if it’s someone you love and thought completely accepted you?

That’s what I wanna talk about today. Because it can and will make you doubt everything about you- especially your worth.

Does perfection = worth?

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Even though I kinda pride myself (in a weird, messed up way :P) on being the weird messed up dork with crooked teeth and skewed glasses, for a long time I’ve felt unworthy because I didn’t want to be pressured into being perfect. And because people have always tried to make me what they think is perfect.

“Curl your hair, it” “You’re so skinny- wow!” “do you honestly eat so much?” “You’re really pretty when you smile. You should smile more.”

But I’ve always known that that isn’t ME.

I have straight hair, and I also have SCHOOL. I could not care less about having curls- I WANT GRADES! My metabolism’s fast, I’m an athlete, of course I need to eat a little more. And sometimes I CAN’T smile. Sometimes I wanna yell. Or frown. Sometimes I want to let myself feel an emotion that isn’t happiness. So if I really took it upon myself to take their kindly offered suggestions 24/7 (aka, the only right way to take said advice…)

I’d be lying. That’s not who I am. (Not bashing y’all people who dabble in makeup and hairstyling and whatnot- like that’s AWESOME and that’s you and good for you!) That just isn’t me.

And… y’know, when people figure out I’m not that kind of person, they just…

They just look at me differently.

Or worse, they say the kinds of things in the introductory paragraph.
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I guess that’s why I’ve HATED being in pictures. I’ve hated having to talk to people. I’ve hated having to smile, I’ve hated that people think I should play the game of perfection. So because I would die if I tried, and I’m #stubborn, and because somewhat like Peggy Carter, I’m trying to know my worth, I don’t. Let’s not even mention the non-looks flaws I have, starting with I’m too curious for my own good, I don’t wanna talk to people when I can write about them, and I’m hopelessly clumsy. Apparently, that’s just as bad as wearing a ponytail to church. And the comments get to me, even though I’ve tried my hardest not to care.

But starting last year, I’ve finally gotten to find my style. Aesthetic. Whatever. XD I’ve gotten comfortable in pictures. I’ve finally felt comfortable in my own skin.

Only to have that yelled at me.

Where and how does one conduct oneself after that?

Ultimately, I think it’s important to be reminded that… 1. no ONE person on this earth has the only true standard of worth.
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God does.

And, uh, according to His rules, um, NOBODY’S PERFECT. Because God doesn’t look at perfectly styled hair, or the best right kick, or biceps, or a small waist (not that any of these are bad)- he looks at the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7 7But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

You can have all the looks, have all the skills, have all the grace and poise, but in God’s eyes, you’re a sinner (and if you’re a Christian) saved by grace. And He loves you whether or not you’re perfect.

Maybe repeat the last line again?

2. You do not need to look perfect to be loved by God.

You do not need to have perfect talent, skill,  or ability to juggle peeled mangoes with one arm to be worthy of anything.

You do not need to be perfect.

Christ did not die for the perfect of this world. Because there is no one perfect. He died for everyone. 

He died for you.

John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

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Also, 3. God designed each of us and we are His masterpiece. 

Ephesians 2:10 10For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Every year, hundreds of people eagerly await for the unveiling of a new American Girl Doll- new look, new personality, new face mold. But the thing is God makes all of those with each new person that comes into the world- on a daily basis. Not just once a year. Everyone is unique, and special,  and loved.

Am I trying to excuse people who dress sloppily, or are klutzes (klutzy? Klutse? I can’t type words)) to the point it becomes dangerous? No. Am I saying that people should stop trying to improve their looks? No. Am I trying to say that I’m fine and don’t need to look good sometimes? No. What I’m saying is, sometimes people worry too much about looks of themselves and other people, that they end up hurting people with their words.

And for the people who were hurt, this is for you. I only wish I could word this better.

But yeah.

That’s it.

life is a highway, Jo

 

 

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27 thoughts on “Hard Stuff: Perfect Imperfection

  1. I wear ponytails to Church all the time. I mean, since it’s Church, I dress it up with like a clip or something, but still. Ponytail.
    I agree that we don’t have to be pretty on the outside to be pretty to God. I know that, back in time, the prettiest ladies often were the worst looking to God since they sinned the most (or caused other people to) So maybe being ugly isn’t always that bad?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, it’s not like.. that casual, right?
      And yesss- I remember Paul saying not to adorn or braid your hair not because it’s bad, but because to do so would associate you with some ladies with not so good jobs
      And yeah. Hopefully.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Honestly people at my church wear sweatpants and t-shirts sometimes. (it’s kinda hilarious sometimes. :P) I usually wear a skirt/dress, but so many people wear ponytails all the time. I think that sometimes people see something in others that they want, and they don’t know how to deal with their jealousy, so they just bash them.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you Jo! I’ve sort of struggled with this…..especially the ponytail to church sort of thing. When I get caught up in comparing myself with others I find life itself sort loses its value.

    On worth there is one line from a song I always find myself coming back to when I’m struggling.

    It says
    “Two wonders here that I confess:
    My worth and my unworthiness.
    My value fixed, my ransom paid,
    At the cross”

    Jesus loved and came to die for us, even us, and he decided that it was WORTH it, as unworthy as we are, so it is his sacrifice that decides our worth. Not other peoples standards. And the cross……was the greatest sacrifice ever….if we are worth that….wow.
    (BTW the song I quoted from is called My Worth is Not In What I Own by Keith and Kristyn Getty)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. AWESOME post. It’s always made me uncomfortable when people call me “grumpy” because I don’t smile much– because apparently, laughing doesn’t count as a positive gesture– and when they pressure me to smile during pictures. I’m afraid conjuring up a smile is kind of hard when I have a camera trained on my face and I feel really awkward. This post resonates with me because of how, recently, I’ve developed a mask over my emotions to escape the pressure, and I’m still trying to work out of that. 🙂 Thanks for writing this amazing post, Jo! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you liked it, Merie! And exactly, it’s hard to appear happy because people force you to. I’m really glad it did! I was worried that, y’know, it would just be another self centered rant. And I get you with the mask thing. ❤ you've got this!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Jo, jeee, I’m nearly crying! Nobody has ever said something like this, and I sometimes I feel like the only one. The only one who doesn’t care if her hairs straight or if she’s having a bad hair day, the only one who doesn’t care about what people think about her. But I’ve realised, I’m not. My friends are like ‘Honey, straighten your hair and put on some make-up, and clean that spot!’ But can I be totally honest, that wouldn’t be me. I am getting tired of people trying to change me, saying hurtful things that make me feel in-secure and emotionally, well, in-stable, but why should I let them? I can relate to EVERYTHING of this post. I fellike me and you are really alike. We don’t try to change ourselves, don’t worry about our imperfections, but people say hurtful things and it makes me doubt myself. It’s horrible, and I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it’s hard.
    Amazing post Jo! 💛😊 So true, and somebody should say it.
    Your imperfections make up who you are, this post has made me feel like I’m not alone and that I should be strong, thank you Jo x
    Amber x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m really glad you liked this post, Amber! 🙂 And yep. It’s easy for people to nitpick on my flaws (which I have a great many of) and, yeah it hurts.
      Glad you don’t feel alone! 😀 Nobody should have to 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Jo this was………
    Beautiful!!!!!!!
    I’m really sorry those people made you feel that way 🙁🙁 that’s terrible.
    I love what you said and I totally agree……sometimes it’s easy to see perfect, gorgeous girls online and get jealous and feel not good enough. But yeah, finding your own style, and being happy with who YOU are (because that’s who God made you as) that’s something more girls (and guys) need to hear. 😀😀❤❤ Awesome job on the post, girl.
    (Btw I still think you are very pretty ❤)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ❤ Aw, thanks Penny! (I literally just typed that "EPnny." *dead*)
      😦 Indeed. People are interesting, aren't they?
      And yes! Especially when not only people online, but people inrl tell you you need to be like the girls online, 'tis tricky! And yes, yes, God made each of us with different personalities and nobody's lesser for being different. I'm glad you like it!
      (XD Thank you- I think the same of you! :D)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is a wonderful post of encouragement, Jo! It’s very true. God created each and everyone of us unique. We are fearfully and wonderfully made! We shouldn’t let what people say about us get to us because God doesn’t think of us like that. What God says about is true! We just have to believe. He thinks we’re amazing, wonderful, awesome, and a bunch of other things! 😄 Despite what people say about you, I think you’re a wonderful, awesome, beautiful godly young lady. 🧡 Keep up the amazing work, Jo!! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for writing this! For me, peer pressure can be, well, rather pressuring. Trying to be like someone else and acting like people want you to is something I think a lot of people struggle with, and you totally said it really well here. We can’t be perfect, inside or out, and that’s okay.
    We need to strive to live a godly life and give it all we’ve got, but we can still never reach perfection until heaven.

    Good to know there are other people out there who don’t care about how they look. A reminder to me that I don’t always have to look nice in the World’s eyes.

    Thanks again!

    BTW, if you haven’t heard this song, make sure to listen to it.

    Liked by 1 person

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