It Isn’t The End (Never Is, I’m Just Being Dramatic Per Norm)

 

DSC_0163

This is where we’re at, people.

Mondays are hard, math is brutal, and people can be jerks.

It’s not even Monday anymore. smh

Today is just one of those days that you want to end as quickly as possible. Work has gotten 10 times stressful, the people who I’m supposed to be collaborating with ended up dominating  what we were doing and now I’m just another go-get-this and go-do-that. School is crushing- even more so when people demand things that just can’t be met. I have zero time to write, it’s increasingly hard to be with people simply because they don’t really.. I don’t know, recognize that I have feelings? It’s hard. Send me coffee. XD Oh, and don’t forget to add that the fleshly part of me is a horrifying monster that I swear, I wish I could kick out of existence and burn. to. ash. I’m with Paul on this one. I do exactly what I don’t want to do and I don’t do what I want to do.

I’m not looking forward to anything right now. There’s no tangible or intangible prize I can think of for sticking out another day (i.e. this day).

So why on earth am I writing this post?

IMG_2076

Why do I feel the need to reveal that it’s a terrible, horrible, no good day and I’m feeling about as energetic as Eeyore and I’m kinda broken right bout now? Why do I bother writing a personal post that I’m not sure even I would enjoy reading? Why am I being so petty and writing who knows how many words of drek about bad days like it’s something so bad and hidden when it’s common knowledge that some days are good and every other day is.. bad times a hundred?

I  don’t know.

I joked to my mom a day or two ago when she was questioning my all-black wardrobe  that it matched the color of my soul. Which, now that I look back on it, seems accurate right now. Life seems a little darker, not enough to grab a flashlight, but not light enough to feel safe either.

Seems.

Hang on while I grab a Nutella sandwich so we can talk about this some more, because I have to believe I’m not the only one out there. Surely there’s someone somewhere and this is where they’re at. Maybe it’s you.
cropped-b9ef66fa-b504-491b-a2bd-b0e1a3ecde3b

 

It isn’t the end.

I’ll say that again, not because you have bad eyes, but because I need this hammered into my numbskull of a brain.

It. is. not. the. end.

DSC_0165

Sure, maybe it looks like whatever rut you fell into, you can’t climb out and maybe it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe it’s too much for you and it’s hard and you want to give up.

But it isn’t too much for God.

Nothing is. Nothing.

So give up. XD

Yes, give it up. Give it up to God, because we were not meant to face the darkness alone. Probably the first thing I’ll say, no matter how preachy it sounds, because it’s true.

Tomorrow is not quite the same as today. The Maker of days has all of yours planned out, and you can trust them into His hands.

Sometimes what you need is to get back into the Word. Read a Psalm. Memorize something. Listen to a praise and worship song. It’s not a wish-and-problem-gone, granted, but you can never go wrong when you draw near to God and His Word.

“Hope is not some vague emotion that comes out of nowhere, like a stomachache. Hope is the confidence that the stupendous future promised to us by the word of the Spirit is going to really come true. ” -John Piper

DSC_0161

While we’re at it, laughter is a literal lifeline, lifesaver, and it’s beautiful. Use often. XD It’s easier to see things on the bright side when you forget that things aren’t for just a little while- when you look at the lighter stuff. And trust me- laughter is contagious and everyone should be infected, in my opinion.

DSC_0158

As previously stated, you. were. not. meant. to. be. alone. kay. The hardest thing about feeling down is that sometimes nobody could care less.

In that case, please know that there’s always someone. God, a cousin, a sibling- sometimes you have to reach out and take a change. Sometimes you’ll be hurt. But please know that no matter what, someone loves you. Always.

I guess when I try to sum it up- don’t give up hope. Grasp for it, step out for it- but don’t give it up. It’s there for you. For me.

Man, I need to take my own poorly hashed advice.

But there it is. 🙂 I’ll be at the thrift store looking for lighter shirts. Because it ain’t all dark. As the wise foolish Poe Dameron once said, “as long as there is light, we still have a chance!”

life is a highway, Jo

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “It Isn’t The End (Never Is, I’m Just Being Dramatic Per Norm)

  1. Yes, I’ve totally been where you are; this week has been truly awful for me, but I’ll spare you the details 😛 I’m sorry that people are jerks to you. There are some pretty stupid people out there, and these people count as that if they can’t see how awesome you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Amazing post – Where have you been all my life I have needed your encouragement so much!!!!!!!??
    I’m also so sorry you’ve been having such a hard time!!! :”””'((( I want to cry coz things have been so hard for you!!!! I’m always praying for you ❤❤❤❤
    Gorgeous post, as always ❤❤❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Wow Jo. The raw honesty in this post is INSPIRING. Thank you so much for stating the truth and just being open and honest about how you’ve been doing. Praying for you, and you said it yourself, keep going. Tomorrow is different then today, and next week is even more so. I love the things you suggested doing and YES go get some colorful cloths girl. You deserve them.
    Sending love.

    Like

    1. ❤ I try my best to! Though.. that fails.. a.. lot. 😛 Thank you so much Libby, and I'll do my best. And I think I will after all. ❤ I didn't expect people to be inspired by this, though, but I'm glad you were 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such a great and important post 🙂 Both to write and read. I struggle with depression and it’s not fun. Sometimes when I’m in one of those ruts I get unmotivated to read my Bible, pray, go to youth group, etc. And that is honestly satan trying to get to you. What you have to do is read even if you don’t feel like it. You do that, and your heart becomes more and more open to Christ again and then you fall in love ❤ And yes, you still might have depressional thoughts. You still might cry, bawl even. But you'll get better 🙂
    Also, take it from me, don't joke about "my soul is as black as my clothes" or "I am literally trash" because, in the end, those are the lies that you start to believe. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ❤️ Okay, this is gonna be weird, but same. I have the same thing, and what you just said has helped get me out so many times. 😊 thank you so much 🙂
      And yes, they’re very believable lies. It’s almost scary how fast you fall for them.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s