If I Knew Then What I Know Now (Plus pic for BIBPC, carol, and linky to more of the blog tour yikes this title is long)


You’re not the only one, kid.

Not by a long shot.

There is only oneย you you of course, the dorky quirky awkward weird laughing kid who’s just not the same from everyone else, but there are other people with your dreams. Your quirks. And your alarming obsession of Adventures in Odyssey, good gracious.

You’re an annoying little midge of energy, so yes, the haters were right.

But you’re lovable. Sorta. So the haters were wrong.

Also, the haters’ opinions don’t really matter, so keep that in mind.

I don’t know how to tell you, kid. I don’t know how to tell you that people will break your heart and what you thought was right is wrong and that things will change with the snap of a finger and you’re gonna have a lot of curve balls whizzing your way, so please learn to catch, kay?

Your “friends” are shallow, but be nice. Don’t collar the big kids even though you know they’re being jerks. If you do, don’t lie about it. Lying is evil. And don’t think you’re all that smart, why don’t ya? But do learn more. You’ll need it.


Remember how you said you had nothing to live for? Ohhh boy, you be wishing you could take that back. Look around you. Look at the little miracle baby of the C’s, that little tiny thing that everyone thought was a dangerous tumor. Her? She’s gonna grow up to be a sweet little terror, and you’ll be chasing her around a hall more times then you can count. Good on ya for not wearing high heels.

Books are portals to another world. I’m glad you spend your head off in them. Also, pick up a pencil soon- you’ll be writing your own before you know it.

Love your family. Love love love them. They’re broken and not perfect, but still good. Also you’re a part of it.

Bacon crumbles exist. You’ll love them.

Good gracious, stop assuming things are gonna be carved out for you, like an easy puzzle. You gotta start doing things yourself and get it done. People are gonna depend on you whether you like it or not. And if not now, definitely in the future. So get used to it.


You’re gonna meet people in ways you didn’t expect and you’re gonna pour your heart and soul into projects you would never have dreamed of doing. So attack that homework while you still have energy.

It does get worse.

It will. It will hurt so bad you can’t breathe.

But it will get better. I can promise you that. Don’t take my word for it. Take God’s.

Also, never ever ever skimp on the Bible. Ever. You’re gonna need that weapon. You’re gonna need to be armed and dangerous.

Uh, no, no, I didn’t mean to practice knife throwing, especially because that’s our last good knife. Thank you.

Things are gonna change. Not all of it will be good, but there will be good changes. You’re gonna meet people you can’t imagine life without and yet don’t like.

Okay admit it, you like that person.


Write, my friend. You’ll love it. You’ll love making up stories and charries and daydreaming and plotting terrible deaths. Surprising, I know. And it’ll help you. So much.

No, no, screaming because of jogging pants and not jeans isn’t normal, no matter how much everyone thinks it is. Don’t be emotional when you respond. Calm down. count to ten. Punch that meanie in the nose. Don’t do the latter one because it won’t make you feel better. Instead… uh… I haven’t come up with how to handle that guy, but as Jesus says, treat them like you would a tax collector.

Run for your life!

Sorry, wrong context, friend. Speaking of, you do need to understand contest very, very well. But you pick your battles, and you stand up to that guy. To your fears. To that goal. To that line. You got this. Life won’t give you a bowl of opportunities and tell you to pick, so keep your eyes peeled for anything you find, and take it.


Connie and Mitch break up. Tom Riley dies. Old Yeller gets shot. Iron Man gets hurt. The Baudelaires are confusing. The stories and life are similar in a way: they don’t go the way you expect.

Unlike the stories, your life story is being written by the Perfect Author, so never fear.

There is always a reason to laugh. I know there will be days when you’ll feel like drek, but trust me, you can find something to smile about. Care for something other than yourself, and do it a lot. Pray constantly. Pray continually. Don’t get out of touch with God.

Get stronger. Practice your high kick, especially on your right foot. It’s terrible. Push yourself to excellence, but stop for water. take care of yourself, and learn how to braid so nobody objects to your ponytail for the hundredth time in a row.

Observe people. Note their reactions, their fears, their movements, how they think.

Don’t be creepy about it though.

Man, there’s too much I wanna tell ya. Too much. Too much about loving and hurting and living and dying and reading and writing and fighting and resting and the time of day and how the year’s gonna fly by before you know it and Aragorn is brave and courageous but he is broken too and broken pieces can be fixed and people like Blackgaard will be defeated and-

…and you’ll find your way.




ย *************************


Well, another sign of my past is the above picture, friends, ^, which is also my picture for BIBPC. This category was so much easier, thank you Megan, tradition. And here’s mine. See, every Christmas Eve, we go on a marathon of AIO’s Back To Bethlehem, and it’s something I hope to be doing til I’m old and gray (and with those same cassettes XD)

4 days until Christmas Chances, people! Ahhh. You can catch more of Audiosmiths with Hannah and Enni’s lovely posts. Well maybe not Enni’s because she messed up my name. ๐Ÿ˜› For now, though, I’ve taken a break from editing the audio drama and worked on a carol. I hope ya enjoy, bad though it may be. ๐Ÿ˜‰


(And if the linky doesn’t work, then uh.. lemme know)



Right Where You Are


Ever heard of the movie Moana? Sea princess movie, follows her heart, sails the ocean, saves her people, doesn’t fall in love with a guy, has a telekinetic thing with water? I don’t agree with much of what Moana does, but I do sympathize with her on one thing.

I want to see more than the horizon I’m looking at. I want to sail that sea.

For the longest time, I have wished (and still wish) that I was anything other than who I am right now. It seemed that I was born into the most opportunity lacking situation possible.

I’m Canadian, and everything I wanted to join was on the other side of the border. The Get In The Show contest AIO had? Nada. Bible Bee? I’m immediately eliminated. That Christian atmosphere? Not here. Let’s not forget I’m Filipino- Canadian. Which makes it a little hard when people expect you to have an accent and be fluent in Tagalog because you have slightly chinky eyes. Slightly. I don’t even notice it.

Now we get chestnuts.. I won’t shriek, I won’t shriek, I won’t shriek..

I’m homeschooled. Which means I learn at home and wherever. But for some reason, I’m not in a co-op. I don’t get any extra curriculars other than what I make for myself. There’s no sports, no summer camps, no cool things I learn if I don’t learn it myself. Sometimes it’s hard to constantly be the one to push yourself, and alone.

Unlike the cool stereotype, I don’t live in the country, in some awesome rural area with tiny dirt roads and deer and that small town farm life thing. No. I live somewhat in the city and somewhat not. Where people get hurt or worse almost every day, you need a permit to breathe, you have to watch your back walking down the street, and it’s.. just…eh. No place is completely safe, but where I am ranks a lil low down the list.

And…. I’m a pastor’s kid. People scrutinize you like a Marvel trailer. They dissect everything you do, and if you seem to mess up, bam, you’re outta the frying pan and into the fire. You’re supposed to be the example, and well, I’m not. Heh.

I didn’t like it. I wanted anything other than this. I wanted to have the choice to take awesome cool stuff, to have other homeschoolers to study with, to not be considered weird for liking a Bible passage other than John 3:16, to live in a place where people know you by name.

I kinda wanted to follow my heart. Heh.

But God’s changing my heart.

And I guess I realized something: God did not make a mistake when He put me where I am, who I am, and what I love to do.


I knew that, duh. But it kinda came real last night, when I was practicing The Huron Carol (thanks Meredith for the suggestion!) I wanted to search up the history behind the carol, and I was surprised. I knew it was Canadian, yeah, but I didn’t know how it was sung in the Wendat (I think I spelled it right?) language, or that the French wrote it first, or that it’s Canada’s oldest carol. Or that Canada had a carol.

Was it possible I was too busy not liking how my country is that I didn’t see the beauties of it?

It kinda made me think.

There’s a reason why I’m here.

I don’t know what God wants for me. Yet. But I do know He has a plan for me. I know that He’s growing me to be the person He wants me to be. He’s picked the right greenhouse. I don’t know why I am at this specific latitude and longitude and I don’t know why I have to do a lot of things alone. I don’t know why I stick out like a sore thumb, or just don’t really fit in.ย  But God does.


I don’t even know how I jumped from a carol to this whole life thing. XD

But while I’m here.. I know there’s more I haven’t realized. And I’m learning that there’s so many blessings in this situation I haven’t realized because I’ve been too busy looking for blessings elsewhere. That what I considered disadvantages are advantages in their own way. I’m never gonna stop dreaming for y’know, more. But I’m not gonna sulk cause I don’t have it yet.

So that part, “you can find happiness right where you are?”

I’ve found better.

I’m finding joy.


Um, quick quick announcement.

What you are about to hear is WAY different from what Iย used to put up.

Honestly, after making this, I’m kinda ashamed I even made the others. XD I like to think it’s better, but by all means draw your own conclusions.

Thanks a million squared to my brother Joseph for helping me make this! I know I’ve said you were driving me crazy and that the sentiment is mutual, but seriously, you’reย awesome!ย Thank you, thank you, thank you! This whole thing would never have happened without you, and thank you so much! (Y’all, if you like hard rocky stuff, you can find his works at eaglewingsandguitarstrings and I am sorry this sounds like an ad. :P)

But. Ahem. Here ya go. ๐Ÿ™‚

Happy Friday people.

The Things You Learn At An Ice Rink

Hewwo people! Carol of the day (yes, I know I’m behind but whatever, I won’t die :P) is up, so if you wanna give that a listen while you read this post, be my guest! ๐Ÿ™‚


(None of the images are related to skating, my bad. I couldn’t take pictures and skate at the same time!)

If you pop in at the arena I go to every Saturday from 2:15 to 3:00, you won’t find much. Gleaming, shiny, smooth, cold, beautiful ice, yes. Random pop music playing on the radio. A water fountain. And that’s it. That and just a few people going round and round in circles.. and yet I’ve learned a bunch from them and skating with them.

Weird, I know. But it’s true.

You learn to look out for others other than yourself. See, the great thing about indoor rinks and early free skates is that practically nobody shows up. Which is good for us people who don’t want to be smacking into someone every other second. But it also means you can see more people fall. Especially little kids. And I guess what you do from then is up to you. You can just keep skating, or you can call out an “Are you okay?” as you skate. I prefer the latter, and apparently a bunch of other kids do. It’s actually how I’ve gotten to know some people at the rink. Most of the time you hear a “yeah, I’m good!” from those plucky kids with the little bit too loose skates, but occasionally you’ll get the “you know my brother? Yeah, that guy? Don’t trust him! Believe me, that’s worth it.ย  And then you have the tiny babies who’re learning to walk on ice and you have to stop to watch them toddle and it’s. so. adorable. you. can’t. even. my. heart. So yeah, you notice other people. Mostly so you don’t hit them.

There’s plenty of room for improvement.ย  Every time, there are these guys. You know the type. The awfully amazing speed skater/hockey player/ice dancers who are seriously so good everyone’s left in the ice shavings their skates make. You think you’re doing good, then whoosh! There’s some guy going at the speed of light right past you! If you’re me, you either a. groan b. skate faster to try to keep up with these guys. And half the time, they’re nice and don’t mention it. They might even give you a few tips, like this one helpful fellow last Saturday. And I mean, everyone falls here, so no prides to worry about offending. Which is great.


Skating is therapeutic. At least for me. There’s been so many times when I’m down or stressed (like I am all the time)ย  or mad or have way to much energy, and skating helps a lot with that. Gliding on ice, going faster, laps, skating backward, hey even falling helps! ๐Ÿ˜›

Finding a balance is important. Once in a while you get those mini panic attacks that happen when you lean just a bit too much and you flail your arms and shift your skates and hope to the Zamboni you don’t fall over, and that, my nonexistent dear, is where balance comes in. Focusing on not toppling over, focusing on your balance is seriously important stuff. For life too. But mostly skating.


When you fall, get backย up. The first thing I learned when I was first learning how to skate was to fall. I was five. Falling was my expertise. I fell a whole lot, and usually my skate time would be worrying about if I’d fall. And the second thing I learned was to get back up. It’s okay to fall, but it’s even better if you get back up and do it again. And again. And again. Don’t give up. it’s hard, but it’s pretty simple. Get back up. Boy, you won’t believe how easy it is to get up when you see a kid half your size sprawl over and immediately pop back up and dash on the ice, crowing, “skating is fun!” while a whole hockey team is telling the little guy to slow down, for goodness’ sake! Cause if that kid can do it, so can you. Unless it’s fit into a tiny hole. Then you can’t do it even if the kid can.

Okay, I’m done here. I need to go stretch. XD But point: you’re gonna learn things you don’t expect to in the most unexpected places. Make the most of it. ๐Ÿ™‚



An Attempt At Newspaper Article Writing

Dear people of the internet, my sincerest apologies for bombarding you daily with this posts. As it is, here’s another one to bore you to death. A newspaper-y post. *sighs* The things this brain comes up with sometimes….

Also blame Writing & Grammar for making me write a newspaper article. Two attempts down below.

Your News From Out In The World!

(Disclaimer: Everything you read in this segment is false. Do not kill me.)

Scientists Trapped In Alaska During Snowstorm


Juneau, AK. A swarm of white coats are stranded in Alaska after an onslaught of white stuff flew their way, grounding their plane, freezing their equipment, and turning black coffees into mocha iced cappes.

“I’ve never seen anything so bad in all my life,” shivered Floridan based meteorologist Ima Weatherman, taking shelter in an old hangar with 10 other scientists who are riding out the storm with our trusty source of information, the internet. “It’s really looking terrible out there.”

Indeed the temperature reached a frigid 10 degrees, which is a low in both Farenheight, Celsius, and my fridge’s temperature. One can only hope the conditions will improve for the scientists.

“We’re grateful they are in a position with enough food, water, and high speed internet,” an official told us in a private interview. “As of right now, there’s no knowing how long either will last, depending on the weather. Our local weather guys have been tracking this storm for about a week now. If we’re lucky, we should be cutting the red tape by next week.”

The scientists traveled to Juneau to research global warming.

(facepalming right now. okay, here’s the last attempt)

New study shows homework is lying to our faces


Creek, ON. Schools have been closed for an unprecedented 7 days while teachers from all over the world fly in to discuss the study led by one Cica Stoudes, who has been pushing for reformation in the education system.

“I’ve been working on this project for 2 days,” the 8th grader declared to a press room, “and with Google Search, I discovered that homework is not really done at home and is one big joke!”

The youngster was inspired to delve into the research required after hearing her mother call her from her room to explain why Cica had left her essay on the conquistadors of France uncompleted for two weeks.

“We always say how homework is killing us, and now here’s your evidence that it’s true. An essay? Doesn’t Wikipedia have everything you could possibly know?” Ms. Stoudes asked rhetorically when confronted by a journalist.

Besides from the inaccuracy that homework is done at home, the 3 page double sided extra large font study also touches on the ridiculousness of having assignments. “It’s the 20th Century Fox, for crying out loud! We need change from the tiring homework, assignments, projects, everything!” Cica cried to the press. When asked if the research Ms. Stoudes conducted wasn’t study in itself, Ms. Stoudes asked her mother to decline comment.

School will resume just before Christmas.


*jumps* Now that dreadful assignment is over at last. P H E W.ย  Maybe I can go back to normal content for once.

Ha. Don’t you wish.


See, kiddies, this is what happens when you’re me and you try to hard. You get not-so-good stuff like this. *sighs* Hope you enjoy anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

Now I gotta go and crush more school. *groans*


On The First Day Of Christmas

Happy, happy Saturday people!

So I did something crazy.

Ahem. So last time I mentioned playing a carol on my violin/fiddle every day til Christmas? And maybe posting it?




Aright, aright, Iย know it’s terrible, and I know it sounds horrible, and I know that I am 99.9% + 1% crazy! I am well aware.

But that being said, I hope you enjoy my feeble attempt at covering a beautiful song anyway!

One of the things that really really really ticks me off this time of year is the annoying commercialism. Not even a day after Halloween (another holiday ranging in the strange category) and stores are already saying to get the dratted Christmas magic!

There’s nothing magical about Christmas.

In fact, Christmas isn’t ever mentioned in the Bible to celebrate. Get that in your heads.

So why do we?

I’m not preaching. I don’t want to. But for me, Christmas is celebrating the hope of Jesus’ birth. Because if Jesus wasn’t born, we could never have been saved.

For those who don’t believe that, for those who do believe but don’t celebrate, and for those who do, I hope I didn’t get y’all mad, but I do hope you enjoy the instrumentals, bad as they are. ๐Ÿ™‚

In other news, I got the biggest book haul I’ve had in a while. Thank God for public libraries.


December has started on a good boot clad foot.