First off, I am really, really, reaaaaly glad my pictures are visible again.
Also, second off, if it seems I’m using a lot of Tagalog phrases, there’s a good reason for that. One of my charries is a second generation Filipino, which I’ve been wanting to write for a while.
Anyway, how are you world?
Not very good, I know, I know. But you’re still spinning and coping, and inching away from summer all the same. Take a break, why don’t you?
(Actually no keep spinning, we’d be in huge trouble if you didn’t!)
Summer’s officially over.
And I– don’t mind?
It’s been a great summer. A hard one, but a great one nonetheless.
May was a happy month. May was when my sister flew back home, we drove to Buffalo, the cherry blossoms bloomed, and I started working on Mirages. May was a giant birthday prank, with lots of secret texting and emailing. May was joining Bible Bee, not realizing how much it would change my life. May was when summer warmed up, May was when it was all okay, May was the calm before the calm before the storm. (That’s intentional)
June was a whopper.
Lemme just say that.
In June, I got to fly out and see family. Family. And my folks’ definition of family extends to the inlaws’ inlaws. Somehow we all fit and it’s awesome. I got to hang out with cousins I haven’t seen in 4 years. And steal donuts. June was heavy plotting month. PLOT PLOT PLOT. It was fun. June was when I first met my Camp NaNo cabinmates, some of whom I’d just met and quickly became close friends.
And June was when I got my DSLR and life through these lens has never been clearer.
July was HARD.
Yet somehow it wasn’t quite the storm.
Still, it was HARD.
July was Camp NaNo. July was Niagara Falls and Royal Ontario Museum and deep downtown Toronto and fireworks and late-into-the-night-discussions. *gulps* July was typing away for dear life, blasting music at 100% at 1 AM, July was gulping all the bacon crumbles, July was all the “nobody asked you to join Camp NaNo” and the “you spend too much time writing” and the “do something more productive with your time” and the “go read a book” and pushing and failing and giving up and not giving up.
July was cabinmates who were really friends who knew me too well and yelled at me not to give up. July was a caring, interested person who thought I was a hard worker and treated me like an equal. July was a sticky hot summer day spent under the shade of a tree. July was a surgery, anxious waiting. July was all the accusations fired and finding solace in the Word. July was dreams refusing to be dashed.
July was no sleepy month.
August was a downpour.
August was me wrestling with a lot of questions, hoping to find the truth. August was rest from Camp NaNo. August was bonding with friends I didn’t know cared. August was baseball, and the smell of leather.
August was the crickets chirping late at night, August was reading past nonexistent bedtimes, August was re-reading my stories and making new ones. August was silent stares, and earphones on almost perpetually. August was being up at 7 am washing dishes and belting out songs that surprisingly didn’t wake anyone up. August was watching the sunrise. August was intense Bible study that I loved and memorization and Greek words and the joy of knowing God more than I ever did before. August was teaching an eager girl how to secretly take pictures, and helping kids climb and swing from bars and block punches. Don’t ask. August was music, and words, and pictures. August was trying to find a safe place.
It still is.
It’s only at the end of summer we’re grateful for it, why is that? 😛
And that’s been my summer.
Before I’d be griping that we couldn’t go camping or to an amusement park or hiking or to the fair, or any of the other things I saw other kids doing, and I wanted to but never did.
This summer I wanted to take every opportunity that came my way. I wanted to take it, no matter what.
And I did.
And for that, I am grateful.
And now September’s coming and the recap is done and I’m left asking myself something.
I know I wanna continue growing in the Lord. I know I wanna write my stories.
But I don’t know much else.
I don’t know how I’m gonna commute to my first job, if I get one next year. I don’t know if my stories will ever be good enough. I don’t know how I’m gonna handle school. I don’t know what will happen during Christmas break. I don’t know how the year will end, or the next year begin. I don’t know and all these speculations are filling my head too much.
I know God does.
And that’s enough for me.
All the intricate details of my life, I can leave in His hands.
But I do know that writing is gonna level up. I love my stories, and maybe they’re worth being told.
Maybe after I finish Mirages, I can finish What Goes On In A Small Town, and polish those. Maybe I can start Remember Me, and maybe I can write Skirt Girl And The Hockey Rink.
I can’t wait.
So goodbye summer. I won’t forget you anytime soon.