Back Again, An Explanation

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I saw Jo stab the ancient 1994 modem with her usb, eyes flashing. She blew the dust off the old keyboard and started typing. I grinned. Jo was back! Doing her whole torturing of my poor sis-

ZEKE STOP MESSING AROUND ON MY BLOG.

But JOOOOOO I haven’t been on here since like, October!

And I would like to KEEP it that way Zeke!

*huffs* I’m older than you, by, like, 2 years, so you really should cut me some slack.

Shut up and go. Shoo! This isn’t your blog!

Fine, but don’t come crying to me when everyone demands my triumphant return!

Nobody will demand any return from you, and I don’t cry. Shoo. You’re bothering me.

*slinks away from laptop* *muttering* *accidentally tripped on laptop charger*

Well, now that Zeke has ceased and desisted (phew) I guess you’re left with me. And *maybe* just maybe you’re wondering, “why did you leave for almost a week Jo?” Aw, how kind. To be honest, I bet zero people have asked that. And I wouldn’t expect them too. It’s normal to leave. And that’s what I did. Not by choice, however.

This week has possibly taken the world record in hardest weeks. I’m sure it will be topped, eventually, but it was hard. And dark. And even, well, hopeless. To paraphrase Maggie from Dreaming Of Guatemala, it was so dark I almost forgot the light.

Thankfully, God didn’t forget me. And neither did the people He put around me. 🙂 I’ll explain… Sometime. If I remember to. 😛 I tend to forget, y’know, I’m a Jo of very little brain. And a middling sized heart. *thumbs up*

But again, we’re not here to talk about that. It’s with a happy (really, extremely, all the “ly” words) pair of hands that I type the words I AM GLAD TO BE BACK HERE AND WHAT DID I MISS? XD

Let’s see.. where do I pick up after I left off?

Oh. I discovered cookie and ice cream sandwiches. Behold.

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So that was a plus. A tiny and delicious reason to smile. Anyway.

Zeke was right about one thing. And that would be that I’ve been writing. Like a lot of writing. Which may probably lead to burnout with NaNo and all, but hey, I got a chapter down- and a little something that I keep hinting at, but am actually close to mentioning. 😉 I will tell you this though, it’s kinda something I’ve never done before. And I’m almost finished. >:) But yes. Anyway, here’s a snippie from Just Come Home, because I miss sharing my writing. 😛

” My phone rang suddenly on me and serving Miss Addy and a bunch of her shopkeeper friends that day,  much to Miss Addy’s consternation and her friends’ delight. “Whups,” I apologized, slamming an order down on the table. I quickly fished out the source of the Lion King opening and hastily pressed the decline button mid “naah!!” “Sorry about that,” I said awkwardly, passing the drinks down.

My phone rang again.

With an even more obnoxious “nahhhh!” ” — Just Come Home

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Hand lettering helped so much during the tough times, kinda like a coloring book, but you draw as you color. So I’ve gotten into that, and ended up with a bunch of different quotes cursive-fied and pasted onto my journal. “Thank God It’s Friday” was the one yesterday.

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And this was one for another day. It’s one of my favorites. 🙂 Remind me to stop by the dollar store and pick up markers. And maybe more cookies. XD

I keep mentioning food in these posts. Send help.

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My headphones have practically been glued to my head (with good reason) and won’t leave (with VERY good reason), and the songs I end up muttering turn out to the best kind. I’ll talk about them another time. They, along with a billion other things that you don’t really notice at first glace, were little lights that shone rather brightly in the dark. 🙂 (Also, Rend Collective came to Toronto recently and I’m rather sad I missed them. XD)

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As for reading wise, I’ve pored over the Bible, and when it wasn’t the Bible, it was Ms. Marvel: Mecca, Black Widow: Shield’s Most Wanted, and this really weird and sad book called Cat’s Eye. It’s sad. I hate Cornelia (at least I think that was her name) and also, Toronto was weird in the 90’s, apparently. Who knew? Oh, and I almost died over Love To Everyone. That book gives the feels. It’s so good, ah. XD So that’s what I’ve been up to book wise. Not that it matters, but it’s fun to talk about, so, y’know, why not? 🙂

Oh, and if you caught the Winnie The Pooh  reference, then I suppose it’s relevant to mention that my family got and watched Christopher Robin last night, and I finally, finally, finally got to comment on the whole beautiful story plot wise without anyone giving me weird looks.

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The comments mostly consisted of things such as “THIS PLOT IS SO WELL DONE” and “Awwwwww, look at that character development” and “the animation asfghjkhjhgdfa wowowww”- I loved Christopher Robin.

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Loved it.

And there, dear people reading this, is a recap of everything. For the most part.

Also to the Eugene who contacted me, thank you so much, you recognized genius of Campbell County Community College you. 🙂 Also to Penny, I died laughing at your posts.

Also, glad to be back.

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You can tell, I’m sure. 🙂

Hey, maybe I’ll actually record with the Patrie. Maybe.

*accidentally breaks a string* O_O

I’m glad to be back.

winnie the pooh GIF by Walt Disney Studios

 

life is a highway, Jo

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It Isn’t The End (Never Is, I’m Just Being Dramatic Per Norm)

 

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This is where we’re at, people.

Mondays are hard, math is brutal, and people can be jerks.

It’s not even Monday anymore. smh

Today is just one of those days that you want to end as quickly as possible. Work has gotten 10 times stressful, the people who I’m supposed to be collaborating with ended up dominating  what we were doing and now I’m just another go-get-this and go-do-that. School is crushing- even more so when people demand things that just can’t be met. I have zero time to write, it’s increasingly hard to be with people simply because they don’t really.. I don’t know, recognize that I have feelings? It’s hard. Send me coffee. XD Oh, and don’t forget to add that the fleshly part of me is a horrifying monster that I swear, I wish I could kick out of existence and burn. to. ash. I’m with Paul on this one. I do exactly what I don’t want to do and I don’t do what I want to do.

I’m not looking forward to anything right now. There’s no tangible or intangible prize I can think of for sticking out another day (i.e. this day).

So why on earth am I writing this post?

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Why do I feel the need to reveal that it’s a terrible, horrible, no good day and I’m feeling about as energetic as Eeyore and I’m kinda broken right bout now? Why do I bother writing a personal post that I’m not sure even I would enjoy reading? Why am I being so petty and writing who knows how many words of drek about bad days like it’s something so bad and hidden when it’s common knowledge that some days are good and every other day is.. bad times a hundred?

I  don’t know.

I joked to my mom a day or two ago when she was questioning my all-black wardrobe  that it matched the color of my soul. Which, now that I look back on it, seems accurate right now. Life seems a little darker, not enough to grab a flashlight, but not light enough to feel safe either.

Seems.

Hang on while I grab a Nutella sandwich so we can talk about this some more, because I have to believe I’m not the only one out there. Surely there’s someone somewhere and this is where they’re at. Maybe it’s you.
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It isn’t the end.

I’ll say that again, not because you have bad eyes, but because I need this hammered into my numbskull of a brain.

It. is. not. the. end.

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Sure, maybe it looks like whatever rut you fell into, you can’t climb out and maybe it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe it’s too much for you and it’s hard and you want to give up.

But it isn’t too much for God.

Nothing is. Nothing.

So give up. XD

Yes, give it up. Give it up to God, because we were not meant to face the darkness alone. Probably the first thing I’ll say, no matter how preachy it sounds, because it’s true.

Tomorrow is not quite the same as today. The Maker of days has all of yours planned out, and you can trust them into His hands.

Sometimes what you need is to get back into the Word. Read a Psalm. Memorize something. Listen to a praise and worship song. It’s not a wish-and-problem-gone, granted, but you can never go wrong when you draw near to God and His Word.

“Hope is not some vague emotion that comes out of nowhere, like a stomachache. Hope is the confidence that the stupendous future promised to us by the word of the Spirit is going to really come true. ” -John Piper

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While we’re at it, laughter is a literal lifeline, lifesaver, and it’s beautiful. Use often. XD It’s easier to see things on the bright side when you forget that things aren’t for just a little while- when you look at the lighter stuff. And trust me- laughter is contagious and everyone should be infected, in my opinion.

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As previously stated, you. were. not. meant. to. be. alone. kay. The hardest thing about feeling down is that sometimes nobody could care less.

In that case, please know that there’s always someone. God, a cousin, a sibling- sometimes you have to reach out and take a change. Sometimes you’ll be hurt. But please know that no matter what, someone loves you. Always.

I guess when I try to sum it up- don’t give up hope. Grasp for it, step out for it- but don’t give it up. It’s there for you. For me.

Man, I need to take my own poorly hashed advice.

But there it is. 🙂 I’ll be at the thrift store looking for lighter shirts. Because it ain’t all dark. As the wise foolish Poe Dameron once said, “as long as there is light, we still have a chance!”

life is a highway, Jo

HARPs #5! On Discouragement, And The Overall Feeling Of Failure

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Hey y’all! I’m posting for The Happy And Random Posts Contest hosted by Starling! ( By the way, go check out her blog because it is awesome.) The topic is:

Type up encouraging posts for others to read 

*gulps* Ok, I can see that I’m not off to a good start thanks to my title, but oh well. Here goes.

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Have you ever been down in the dumps?

I’m sure we all have, at some point.

You’re tired and frustrated and it’s pretty  much hopeless. Discouragement stings like a slap in the face.

And boy, does it hurt! Like when you’ve worked for something so hard, only to be rejected because of something so trivial. You get an unfounded, hurtful statement that has no other purpose but to leave you mad. And hurt too, if you’re honest.

And sometimes, you have to wonder if you should just give up. What’s there to lose if you do?

But oh, my friend, what is there to gain?

I get easily discouraged. Maybe it’s a project gone terribly wrong, or maybe it’s a cloudy sky to ruin my plans, or a mean comment driven deep inside, it discourages me.

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I’m pretty sure the prophet Elijah knew exactly what I’ve been going through. He had just proved to Israel that Baal wasn’t any god, and the queen was after him.

Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.  Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” – I Kings 19: 1-2 

As you can imagine, Elijah was scared and ran away. He was more than discouraged, too.

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 1 Kings 19: 4

Yep, you read that right. Elijah asked to die. Like a ladybug with a crushed wing, he truly believed he lost all hope.

It may have only been a really long test and all these little troubles for me, but I truly believed I lost all hope. Were we right?

No.

Why?

Because the sun breaks through the clouds! And the light comes out from the storm. And God is in it all.

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Sometimes, life is hard. Sometimes, life is good. God in there in the good and in the bad, the little things and the big things. And as Christians, we have not lost all hope, because our hope is in God. We just have to trust Him.

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? – Matthew 6: 28-30

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Life may not be going well for you, or maybe it is.  Either way, God is there. And He will always take care of you.

My God, my God, be near me
There’s nowhere else to go
And Lord, if You can hear me
Please help Your child to know

That You’re always good, always good
As we try to believe what is not meant to be understood
Will You help us to trust Your intentions for us are still good
‘Cause You laid down Your life
And You suffered like I never could – Andrew Peterson, Always Good

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Points Calculator!

  1. 3 points per post related to the HARPs Contest – 3 points!
  2. Photos which are taken by you (2 points per photo) – 4 pictures, so 4(2)= 8 points!
  3. Completing Little Challenges (2 points) – if you caught that crushed ladybug wing part, I got 2 points!
  4. Total= 13 points! 

 

Thanks for reading!