In Which I Write A Blog Post In My Journal (Or a journal entry on my blog…)

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Deery, 

 I has redeemed myself. And it is quite the nice feeling to redeem yourself, lemme tell ya. 

Mom cut back my curfew to 9 pm, deery. 9. Stinking. PM. WHY. 😥 she says it’s to make sure my mind is properly rested, but I think it’s unfair, I do. 

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Although, if I’m gonna be completely honest, *whispers* I’m kinda grateful that I have a curfew? ‘Cause now I am forced to prioritize and pick what’s really important and that’s a good thing. So curfew doesn’t really stink. I guess. It’s cool for the most part. 

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I got to video chat J and R this afternoon, so that was really, totally 110 percently,  a TON of fun. I wuv these weirdos a lot. We were *supposed* to be doing Bible study, but we ended up fangirling– personing over His Story the musical. We could literally talk for forever and there was would be no way on earth we could stop coming up with things to talk about. But we had to stop, of course. Because I had (have, still) a book to finish.

_Um....._ The problem doesn't seem that hard, just move that number here and put this here-- In my head, the numbers are animated and Larry the Cucumber is narrating how to solve the equation. But in real life, I'm a.png

Anyway, J’s nagging cough cough death threats actually paid off. I wrote 4k today. 4k!!! That’s the most I’ve ever written. EVER. How awesome is that? 4 more k to go, heh, but I got this. God’s got me. It’s not over til it’s over. 😀 

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Mom heard some of the songs I was playing and asked if I could play them at dinner time. So I did. Guess what? Dad now likes His Story the musical. HEHEHEHEEHEHE. HEH. 🙂

I’m kinda scared that at the end of all this, something bad will happen, but like I told J, I just gotta keep trusting God. Where is He gonna take me? I don’t know. 

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And I can’t wait. 

 

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How To Have An Idea– A Powerpoint Presentation 2019 Edition

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**as we all know by the word Powerpoint, I mean memes and gifs**

I’m back from the land of perpetual writing, where virtual cabins play the craziest pranks (no, I’m serious *glares at Enni*) and every day is another debate of “one more YouTube video” and wordsprints. Tis wonderful. 😀 But I poke back onto here to sweeten up your Friday with the (very) novel idea of How To Have An Idea!

And also I might/might not talk about my novel. O_O

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Step 1. Breathe. 

This is quite simple to do. Open your mouth and swallow air. It takes some practice but in time, it should gradually get easier over time. Note: Do not try to breathe in Colorado. Altitude differences are horrendous. *nods*

Step 2. Decide to do something really crazy and insane and hard.

Of course, you know what I’m talking about.

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This also applies to everything you decide to do that pushes you out of your comfort zone (home), something of your own volition that nobody asked you to do and everyone thinks your insane. Thought of something? Wonderful! Now do it! My personal favorites are the ideas that reach out to anyone other than yourself,  such as*gasp* maybe helping out at the library suggesting books, researching an ailment for a friend and writing something in their honor. You get the idea. Once you commit to something crazy, you can move on to step three.

Step 3. Panic.

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Panicking is one of the best things you can do in a situation like this. Simply put, wave your arms in the air and flail like a mad man. Tis best to let this happen naturally, such as when you’re working on a project 10 minutes before  the deadline, cheering on a sports team, having a YouTube video export right as your computer shuts down, or in the process of tuning your violin and having the strings pop open.

Step 4. Try to walk around to clear your head. 

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While you’re at it, go fight some of your best friends because one of them accidentally invented an evil robot that tried to destroy the world and now the world wants you on time out right as your best best friend came back from being brainwashed not to mention your almost girl died due to mysterious causes RIP Peggy and her niece just handed your shield back which give you a reason to fight because honestly the 21st century (Fox) is really confusing. (OOPS. SPOILERS.) If that doesn’t clear your head, I recommend going to space and fighting a giant purple raisin. That will definitely clear your head. (Note: if you do this, don’t bring a broom.)

 

Jogging is good too.

Step 5. Scroll around on Pinterest in the wee hours of the night, burning phone battery and time. 

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If it’s an idea you’re after, there is no better way to get/not get/definitely not get then on the motherload of pictures. Pinterest. Memes are a very good way to start, then work your way into the fandoms. 😀 Warning, this will keep you up all night, so continue with step 6.

Step 6. Stay snack-drated.

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The importance of this is one I cannot stress often enough. It’s a must to have plenty of snacks to accompany your brainstorming aka Pinterest meme hunts aka the free and non-moving equivalent in regards to time wasting as Netflix. Some good snacks involve much sugar and nothing too healthy, although vegetable smoothies are very good as well. That’s the exception but not the example. I highly recommend French fries/popcorn/marshmellows.

Step 7. Join a support group to rant– er, discuss your idea empty life. 

While a real life, actually have to waste gas to drive to one, breathing, working, functioning support group is encouraged, to find one online is just as effective and highly suggested for those couch potatoes reading this right now. Unless you want to form a real life couch potato support group. Then come over and we can start in my mom’s living room. Bring potatoes.

Step 8. Try free writing your thoughts to make sure your brain is utterly and truly empty. 

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In both the literal and satirical sense (but especially in the latter) free writing helps remove whatever cobwebs your brain has spun in boredom. And memes from Step 5. I suggest writing nonstop for 25 minutes, then looking to see if in the shreds of sanity, there is something at least halfway acceptable to the constricts of society.

Step 9. Read a couple books in the hopes of sparking a burnt out fuse to write your own. 

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Yes, grab those books that weigh a brick from the kids’ fiction shelf. Then the same with YA. PERFECT! Now go shut yourself up and read. Preferably alone. With nobody to wonder why you’re sobbing as ideas fail to fill your head, but emotions run rampant. Perfect. You’ll get an idea in no time.

Step 10. Do absolutely nothing. 

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I feel like this is self explanatory. But see, to do nothing, do nothing. Like. Nothing. It is not hard to do nothing. So do nothing. It’s best to do nothing by not doing something, as time will tell. In the words of a bear of very big heart, “doing nothing leads to the best something”. And BEHOLD! An idea!

Follow these steps in the right order and you shall be sure to have an idea.

(and because I’m nice here’s a snippie of said idea. :D) Happy Friday!

_Lute snickers, but it’s such an awkward snicker that’s a mix between weird and adorable. Like a puppy tripping on a rock. Or a duck tripping. Ducks are adorable, just like that meme from- What were we talking about_

This Is The Moment You’ve Waited For (April’s HEREEEEEEEEEE!)

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Mm, I made two references to two pretty great musicals. 😀 Y’all should be proud a me. But guess what guys? It’s a new month- and it’s a new camp NaNoWriMo *cheers lustily* And I should also mention that pranks are present, roll your eyes and deal with it. (Like I don’t have one myself, eheh.) Quicky recap because those are fun, and we’ll get on with this. XD

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March was hard. Goodbye March. But some of the greatest stuff happened that I’m grateful for.

-My family saw Captain Marvel. Admittedly, it wasn’t the greatest- but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a great movie! Really enjoyed it. 😀

-I wrote for my life even though it wasn’t NaNo, just to see if I could. 15k in 3 days!! 😀 That’s a record. I’m sure at least a quarter is junk, but I did it. I actually genuinely did it.

-I’ll be honest, a ton happened that I wish didn’t. A lot of times I just wanted to curl up into a ball and hop into the Pacific Ocean and drown away. Thank you to the friends who convinced me otherwise. (And for the memes. You know who you are. :P)

-us Audiosmithers released one of my favorite dramas. ❤

-I discovered Newsies (I think this one is obvious, you guys.)

-And Hamilton (that’s another post in itself)

-and the sweetest movie that ever was

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me realizing it’s April
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my first reaction

-Spring came before Winter crashed right back onto the scene so that was rather nice

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-Crushed Algebra (and in return, got crushed myself)

-late nights became my best friends

-as were snickers bites

-I may or may not have done something to my blog. I think I should fix it, but ah.

-Arya Stark is surprisingly like one of my characters, and now I’m having an existential crisis trying to figure out if GoT stole from me, or I stole from GoT O_O

-ended up with some rather interesting scenes and plotted for my new novel at church. On notebook paper. In smudged writing. For about 25 minutes. 🙂

March, you marched on. Good for you.

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Favorite Song

Ben Rector is a master of using common words to write priceless gems, and Brand New was probably one of his bests. (They’re all good though. XD) Up there with this is Winners Don’t Quit by Owl City, and Little Things by Maddie Poppe. 🙂

Favorite Book

Love to EveryoneAlso known as Love To Everyone, this book hit me right in the feels as I was reading it. Clarry is such a well written character, and the setting- the setting is just so real. And it’s sad. And heartbreaking. And just- ahh what do you say about a book that’s so good you can’t just say it?? *dies*

 

 

 

 

 

 

Favorite Quote

 

I WILL BREAK OUT INTO NEWSIES SONGS! BE PREPARED!

This.

Rend Collective - “Counting every blessing”

And this.

Listen to the song "Joy" by Rend Collective. Fits this quite perfectly

And most importantly this.

So all that to say,

LET’S GO, APRIL. 

Oh. That prank.

It’s actually not a prank.

It’s a parody. A NaNoWriMo parody.

Enjoy!

(yes, it’s cringey and bad and my voice sounds terrible but I had a ton of fun pretending to be a Broadway singer and altering the lyrics so please laugh as much as you want and I hope you enjoy 😀 )

 

 

Back Again, An Explanation

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I saw Jo stab the ancient 1994 modem with her usb, eyes flashing. She blew the dust off the old keyboard and started typing. I grinned. Jo was back! Doing her whole torturing of my poor sis-

ZEKE STOP MESSING AROUND ON MY BLOG.

But JOOOOOO I haven’t been on here since like, October!

And I would like to KEEP it that way Zeke!

*huffs* I’m older than you, by, like, 2 years, so you really should cut me some slack.

Shut up and go. Shoo! This isn’t your blog!

Fine, but don’t come crying to me when everyone demands my triumphant return!

Nobody will demand any return from you, and I don’t cry. Shoo. You’re bothering me.

*slinks away from laptop* *muttering* *accidentally tripped on laptop charger*

Well, now that Zeke has ceased and desisted (phew) I guess you’re left with me. And *maybe* just maybe you’re wondering, “why did you leave for almost a week Jo?” Aw, how kind. To be honest, I bet zero people have asked that. And I wouldn’t expect them too. It’s normal to leave. And that’s what I did. Not by choice, however.

This week has possibly taken the world record in hardest weeks. I’m sure it will be topped, eventually, but it was hard. And dark. And even, well, hopeless. To paraphrase Maggie from Dreaming Of Guatemala, it was so dark I almost forgot the light.

Thankfully, God didn’t forget me. And neither did the people He put around me. 🙂 I’ll explain… Sometime. If I remember to. 😛 I tend to forget, y’know, I’m a Jo of very little brain. And a middling sized heart. *thumbs up*

But again, we’re not here to talk about that. It’s with a happy (really, extremely, all the “ly” words) pair of hands that I type the words I AM GLAD TO BE BACK HERE AND WHAT DID I MISS? XD

Let’s see.. where do I pick up after I left off?

Oh. I discovered cookie and ice cream sandwiches. Behold.

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So that was a plus. A tiny and delicious reason to smile. Anyway.

Zeke was right about one thing. And that would be that I’ve been writing. Like a lot of writing. Which may probably lead to burnout with NaNo and all, but hey, I got a chapter down- and a little something that I keep hinting at, but am actually close to mentioning. 😉 I will tell you this though, it’s kinda something I’ve never done before. And I’m almost finished. >:) But yes. Anyway, here’s a snippie from Just Come Home, because I miss sharing my writing. 😛

” My phone rang suddenly on me and serving Miss Addy and a bunch of her shopkeeper friends that day,  much to Miss Addy’s consternation and her friends’ delight. “Whups,” I apologized, slamming an order down on the table. I quickly fished out the source of the Lion King opening and hastily pressed the decline button mid “naah!!” “Sorry about that,” I said awkwardly, passing the drinks down.

My phone rang again.

With an even more obnoxious “nahhhh!” ” — Just Come Home

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Hand lettering helped so much during the tough times, kinda like a coloring book, but you draw as you color. So I’ve gotten into that, and ended up with a bunch of different quotes cursive-fied and pasted onto my journal. “Thank God It’s Friday” was the one yesterday.

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And this was one for another day. It’s one of my favorites. 🙂 Remind me to stop by the dollar store and pick up markers. And maybe more cookies. XD

I keep mentioning food in these posts. Send help.

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My headphones have practically been glued to my head (with good reason) and won’t leave (with VERY good reason), and the songs I end up muttering turn out to the best kind. I’ll talk about them another time. They, along with a billion other things that you don’t really notice at first glace, were little lights that shone rather brightly in the dark. 🙂 (Also, Rend Collective came to Toronto recently and I’m rather sad I missed them. XD)

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As for reading wise, I’ve pored over the Bible, and when it wasn’t the Bible, it was Ms. Marvel: Mecca, Black Widow: Shield’s Most Wanted, and this really weird and sad book called Cat’s Eye. It’s sad. I hate Cornelia (at least I think that was her name) and also, Toronto was weird in the 90’s, apparently. Who knew? Oh, and I almost died over Love To Everyone. That book gives the feels. It’s so good, ah. XD So that’s what I’ve been up to book wise. Not that it matters, but it’s fun to talk about, so, y’know, why not? 🙂

Oh, and if you caught the Winnie The Pooh  reference, then I suppose it’s relevant to mention that my family got and watched Christopher Robin last night, and I finally, finally, finally got to comment on the whole beautiful story plot wise without anyone giving me weird looks.

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The comments mostly consisted of things such as “THIS PLOT IS SO WELL DONE” and “Awwwwww, look at that character development” and “the animation asfghjkhjhgdfa wowowww”- I loved Christopher Robin.

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Loved it.

And there, dear people reading this, is a recap of everything. For the most part.

Also to the Eugene who contacted me, thank you so much, you recognized genius of Campbell County Community College you. 🙂 Also to Penny, I died laughing at your posts.

Also, glad to be back.

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You can tell, I’m sure. 🙂

Hey, maybe I’ll actually record with the Patrie. Maybe.

*accidentally breaks a string* O_O

I’m glad to be back.

winnie the pooh GIF by Walt Disney Studios

 

life is a highway, Jo

Tiny Weekend Thoughts

 

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This weekend, look out for someone other than yourself.  Or. just make it a point to. Period. 🙂

It’s been a hard week, let’s not kid ourselves. For me, at least, yesterday was a roller coaster of emotions, but make that roller coaster break off the tracks and veer ever so quickly dangerously down a man-made, realistic looking cliff and into a valley of sharp pointy rocks. *shudders*

Oh, and there’s snapping turtles. *extra shudders*

However, we’re not here to focus on yesterday. (at least, I hope not. If we were, I suppose I crumpled up the memo and tossed it into the fire. :P) We’re here to focus on today.
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Today could have a dozen different opportunities waiting for you to find them. Today could have Extraordinary Magic in it, conveniently popping out of sight whenever a no-magic (or was it a muggle, I get those two confused) comes into sight. Or it might be really hard. And by hard I mean the kind of hard when you just don’t want to keep going on. That’s okay too. Whichever your day looks like, I hope you know there’s always a reason to smile.

For example, the Avengers 4 SECOND trailer came out! 😀 For another, the sun’s shining- the heater’s working, someone gave us a bag full of mini Snickers… wait, I’m hungry, one sec. XD

There are people who care for you. Somewhere. Somehow. In maybe the strangest of ways, they’re there. 🙂 Puppies exist. Hope exists. Chocolate ice cream can now come in extra big gallons. There are oreos that are gluten free. Peter Parker is coming back from the dust. There is a God, and He cared so much He sent someone to die for you, and even though He’s a King, you can request an audience 24/7. And He’ll listen. That’s more than smile worthy, I think.
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Perhaps one day I’ll tell all. Maybe one day I won’t have to go about this roundabout way of saying things- maybe one day I’ll write it as it is.

For now though, I hope you have a great Saturday, and a great week, and that this random drabble was one of those things that has the power to make someone smile.

life is a highway, Jo

Seeking The Truth And Smallfoot

**If anyone throws out the Zendaya is Meechee meme. I will end you. :)**

**There are spoilers**

**sorry**

**not really**

**oh well**

Yes, I was so taken by the theme of a (good) animated film that I decided to do a blog post on it. Honestly, movies maybe not be the best kind of media, but there’s some seriously good things to get from them, just saying.

Family movie night has always been and will always be a thing in our family. Smallfoot was a recent  (*cough cough* like since January recent) watch, and I found myself commenting so much on the theme and characters and idjit humans (yes, I said that and if you watch the movie, you’ll get why) so much the first 30 minutes in my exasperated dad told me to sit down and just watch the movie. Which I did.

So glad I did. Because Smallfoot addresses something very important that people seem to forget- okay, scratch that, it address so many things that gives me some hope for animated films. And people should not forget these things. Not in the slightest. Le’ go.

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Theme 1, asking questions and being curious

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For those who haven’t seen the movie, basically yeti with very human cultures don’t believe in smallfoots (hint hint: humans) and are promptly shook when the MC, Migo, says he found one.

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Chaos ensues.

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Why? Because the stones (some weird rock thingies with pictures that are supposed to be translated into rules for living) say there are no smallfoot! *crowd gasps*

Anyway, the good citizens of yeti-land (not real name) are told time and time again not to question the stones- or question in general, because questions are bad. And Migo is fully heartedly behind that, no questions about it. Until he gets kicked out for defending what he knows is true and therefore has to ask a question which isn’t the ultimate question but which leads to the ultimate question: Questions are bad?

Meechee, the Stonekeeper’s daughter (more gasps) and her rag-tag bunch, the SES- Smallfoot Existence Society- think differently. That’s why everyone except Meechee was expelled, of course. Because they.. well. were thinking differently. And by differently, they believe that smallfoot exist and have evidence to prove it AND have actual working theories to show for their crazy (in Migo’s eyes, anyway) idea.

“All these questions that we always have/ all we are is curious/there’s nothing wrong with that” Meechee explains in song form (how original)to Migo a few minutes later. The SES soon convince Migo and later, everyone else, that asking questions is the way to knowing the truth. Which is 1. not very mentioned in stories, especially not a girl, let alone a princess, as her motive for science, and is therefore applauded by moi and 2. the next theme in this unusual mix of themes.

Theme 2, seeking the truth

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Truth is hardly ever mentioned in kids’ stories, let alone stories in general, so it was really refreshing to see it mentioned and portrayed. (Also, geek self insists on mentioning that I was studying the Age of Reason at the time, and was irritated that Smallfoot managed to compress and explain the concepts of the Enlightenment while my history teacher took like 4 hours. Which is my way of saying they taught some pretty weighty concepts)Anyway. Poor old Migo knows he saw a smallfoot, but according to the Stonekeeper, he didn’t. Why? The stones say there are no smallfoot, duh. And the stones never lie. Right? I mean, like, they’re the stones.

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It might pass by a little kid’s head, (which I am, but let’s ignore that) but Smallfoot’s message was wonderfully clear: Truth. is. important. Even if someone says it’s true, you must find out for yourself. You can’t just take it on someone’s word. Migo, our good yeti homie, has some problems with this because.. well, when you know the truth, it has consequences on everything else. Such as, what, the sun isn’t a giant snail that comes out when you ring a gong? Why do we need gong ringers then?

The truth is, the truth changes your life. And for these uninformed furries, that’s a rather drastic change. Why?

Theme 3, people are gullible and tend to believe whatever a higher trusted source says is true

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Smallfoot took a real life phenomenon in our culture and portrayed it for little kids so perfectly it’s a wonder that we “older and wiser” can’t see it for what it is: if you just get the right people an the right audience, people will believe anything you tell them. Case in point, the furries yeti. It’s shown in a humorous way (and even better, a great plot point), but it shows something that’s true: we humans tend to rush in headfirst toward opinions and things we believe are true, just because someone/thing/yeti says so. Which is terrible, because even though the yeti started asking questions, even though the truth was right in front of them, they were still persuaded by the Stonekeeper, simply because he was right. Right? Wrong. And it led to more chaos.

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Theme 4, Integrity

And here I must actually write a paragraph about the idjit humans.

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Well, just the one idjit human. This guy, who *used* to be a naturalist who was all about saving extinct animals by filming himself talking about them, but now just does it for the ratings- and money, of course. Which makes him so desperate he buys a yeti suit for the sake of one epic YT video.

Yeah, not much integrity. And his assistant leaves him because of it.

Aw, hand me a tissue, what a down-on-his-luck- charrie- not. And he knows it.

This character who shall go unnamed because I’m too lazy to actually google it grows a lot through the movie- and learns, as well as the audience, that integrity isn’t about making sure you’re on top. Sometimes you must put yourself out of the way for others. A good lesson for everyone to learn.

And thus concludes this ridiculously long post, for a movie that was as meaningful as it was ridiculous. And while I still have a bone to pick with some elements (such as the challenging of the stones, namely, that just like in the Age of Reason, people decided to question and eventually walk away from the Bible because, like the stones, it mighta just been a wonderfully concocted and too well trusted set of rules. Post for another time.) I popped the movie out of the dvd player surprisingly refreshed by the lessons Smallfoot teaches- and related to Fleem on a personal level.

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the tiny dude.

life is a highway, Jo

A Quicky Q&A and Random Updates

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I had a post coming on, but it wasn’t ready and I wasn’t ready and Enni, the brilliant genius she is, messaged me and asked for a post idea since she was a little low on creativity and since I was low on energy, I suggested a collab interview since those are fun and I was way too tired to think.

There’s an example run-on sentence for your grammar books kids. *thumbs up* On with this post. Although you should probably check out Enni’s answers to my questions over here since they’re much more fun than my answers. And she also posted my death threat on hers too. Cool stuff.

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1. If you could start life over, would ya?
If I could start life over… what. Uh. *sighs* *thinks deeply* No. Because the life I have right now is crazy enough. XD

2. How would you describe your sense of style?

I have no sense of style- it comes and goes.

3. What’s your favorite season?

WINTER FOREVER- snow, skates, CHRISTMAS, more snow, ice, winterrrr
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4. What are your life’s goals?

To live, obviously. And to publish a book, learn to drive, get a black belt, be on American Ninja Warrior, act in any kind of production, go to Bible Bee Nationals, and meet all of my blogger friends on a road trip around the world.

5. Which place in Europe would you most like to visit?

*waves hands wildly* Scotland! One, because of Brave, and two, because.. because Scotland. 😛

I’d also like to stop by Switzerland one time.

6. Which Marvel death broke your heart the most?

*sniffs* Thank you for asking about a fandom Enni I love you so- it would have to be Vision, because Wanda had to watch him die twice and she couldn’t do a thing to stop it and also because poor grey Vis’s lifeless self is heartbreaking. Also Spiderman and Bucky’s  were pretty horrible.
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7. What time do you normally get up in the mornings?
 I do my best to get up around 6 or 7- it sometimes happens. Sometimes.

8. What’s the worst book you’ve ever read?

The worst book I ever read shall go nameless to protect the innocent, but it was a Western that was so bad I’d rather read Twilight and I hate Twilight. It was so horribly preachy, the characters were unrealistic, the bad guy wasn’t bad guy-y enough, and to top it all off, it was supposed to be good Christian fiction. Ugh.
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9. Cursive or print?

Cursive forever- what can you do with print anyway? Other than print? Legit nothing. Be-yuk.
10. Which of your fandoms is your favorite?
As if I can choose between any of them?? O_O I can’t! Probably AIO. Or the MCU. Or LOTR. It’s a tie between those three.
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Thus concludes the mini random interview. *sighs and slumps onto couch*
Now for the updates that nobody asked for.
I have 4 drafts in my Editor, waiting for me to publish them. Which, I probably won’t until much later when they’re completely faded from relevancy. It’s not like I’m tired of blogging- it’s just that I’m tired, period. It’s hard volunteering for something you didn’t volunteer to do it, y’know? But that’s over now and I’m just in the fallout, waiting for energy to come back and… yeah. I’m alive! *thumbs up* In case you were wondering. Heh.
Currently in the process of finishing my NaNoWriMo 2018 project so I can move on to April Camp 2019’s WIP.. which I’ll announce eventually. As well as the secret project that I totally missed the deadline for but refuse to ditch. I’ll get there. One day.
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That seems to be the mantra for all my days. That one day, it’ll be okay. That one day, I’ll have the willpower to make it today and not one day. That one day will come when I don’t have to remind myself one day is coming. So until that day comes, I’ll try to do the best I can today. Which wasn’t much, but it’s coming- it’s coming! 😛
Here’s to another day, you guys- we’ll make this week. Somehow. *props to you all*
life is a highway, Jo

It Isn’t The End (Never Is, I’m Just Being Dramatic Per Norm)

 

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This is where we’re at, people.

Mondays are hard, math is brutal, and people can be jerks.

It’s not even Monday anymore. smh

Today is just one of those days that you want to end as quickly as possible. Work has gotten 10 times stressful, the people who I’m supposed to be collaborating with ended up dominating  what we were doing and now I’m just another go-get-this and go-do-that. School is crushing- even more so when people demand things that just can’t be met. I have zero time to write, it’s increasingly hard to be with people simply because they don’t really.. I don’t know, recognize that I have feelings? It’s hard. Send me coffee. XD Oh, and don’t forget to add that the fleshly part of me is a horrifying monster that I swear, I wish I could kick out of existence and burn. to. ash. I’m with Paul on this one. I do exactly what I don’t want to do and I don’t do what I want to do.

I’m not looking forward to anything right now. There’s no tangible or intangible prize I can think of for sticking out another day (i.e. this day).

So why on earth am I writing this post?

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Why do I feel the need to reveal that it’s a terrible, horrible, no good day and I’m feeling about as energetic as Eeyore and I’m kinda broken right bout now? Why do I bother writing a personal post that I’m not sure even I would enjoy reading? Why am I being so petty and writing who knows how many words of drek about bad days like it’s something so bad and hidden when it’s common knowledge that some days are good and every other day is.. bad times a hundred?

I  don’t know.

I joked to my mom a day or two ago when she was questioning my all-black wardrobe  that it matched the color of my soul. Which, now that I look back on it, seems accurate right now. Life seems a little darker, not enough to grab a flashlight, but not light enough to feel safe either.

Seems.

Hang on while I grab a Nutella sandwich so we can talk about this some more, because I have to believe I’m not the only one out there. Surely there’s someone somewhere and this is where they’re at. Maybe it’s you.
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It isn’t the end.

I’ll say that again, not because you have bad eyes, but because I need this hammered into my numbskull of a brain.

It. is. not. the. end.

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Sure, maybe it looks like whatever rut you fell into, you can’t climb out and maybe it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe it’s too much for you and it’s hard and you want to give up.

But it isn’t too much for God.

Nothing is. Nothing.

So give up. XD

Yes, give it up. Give it up to God, because we were not meant to face the darkness alone. Probably the first thing I’ll say, no matter how preachy it sounds, because it’s true.

Tomorrow is not quite the same as today. The Maker of days has all of yours planned out, and you can trust them into His hands.

Sometimes what you need is to get back into the Word. Read a Psalm. Memorize something. Listen to a praise and worship song. It’s not a wish-and-problem-gone, granted, but you can never go wrong when you draw near to God and His Word.

“Hope is not some vague emotion that comes out of nowhere, like a stomachache. Hope is the confidence that the stupendous future promised to us by the word of the Spirit is going to really come true. ” -John Piper

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While we’re at it, laughter is a literal lifeline, lifesaver, and it’s beautiful. Use often. XD It’s easier to see things on the bright side when you forget that things aren’t for just a little while- when you look at the lighter stuff. And trust me- laughter is contagious and everyone should be infected, in my opinion.

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As previously stated, you. were. not. meant. to. be. alone. kay. The hardest thing about feeling down is that sometimes nobody could care less.

In that case, please know that there’s always someone. God, a cousin, a sibling- sometimes you have to reach out and take a change. Sometimes you’ll be hurt. But please know that no matter what, someone loves you. Always.

I guess when I try to sum it up- don’t give up hope. Grasp for it, step out for it- but don’t give it up. It’s there for you. For me.

Man, I need to take my own poorly hashed advice.

But there it is. 🙂 I’ll be at the thrift store looking for lighter shirts. Because it ain’t all dark. As the wise foolish Poe Dameron once said, “as long as there is light, we still have a chance!”

life is a highway, Jo

How Comic Books Helped Me Understand Real Life

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**WARNING: While this post puts comics in a good light, I am in no means encouraging you to check any out or saying that they’re pure goodness and are essential to a person’s TBR. They’re not. There are much better books to read XD We good? Great!**

I’ll say it once, and by good gracious I will say it again. Fantastic Four was better in the comics than in the movies.

Fight me.

I have no clue where on earth our FF copy went- but I do know that it, along with a number of others- was picked up and read by a rather naïve little reader who wanted a good story. I was a little too young to get all of it- just like I was with the others taken home and pored over- but looking back, there’s some connections made that have actually been influential in helping me understand things? Which is weird, I guess, but it really did.

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*sighs* I remember being squished with four other people over a copy of Civil War- or at least I think it was Civil War. We had ZERO clue that not only would we have to read Cap and Tony fighting- but only a few years later, we’d actually see that play out. We didn’t even know Spiderman could be that deep. That comic taught me something that’s stuck: that when you give the power to any one person, it can affect millions more. Nobody here on this earth has the ability to have all the power and use it for good all the time. No one government, no one union, no one thing. And that trying to take away the freedoms of those who fight for freedom to fight for it- that takes away the freedoms of those who can’t fight for it too. That was a tongue twister but it’s true. 😛

So fast forward a few years later, heading about stuff like trade wars and borders and what country is doing what, and what comes into my head is Spiderman trying to revoke the Registration Act. My brain is weird. But it worked.

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Heard on the news about overpopulation and euthanasia and how the world is following a path of destruction and pain, and Reed Richards’ attempts to change the future make sense now. I get why he tried to do that.

But I also get why that’s wrong.

I learned how to be brave from Peter Parker. That sometimes in the fight for good, you will lose, and lose, and lose what you love and it will hurt. Bu you gotta do it anyway.

I learned that more lies and more deception NEVER end up good. Seeing Black Widow and The Winter Soldier trying to sift through what’s real and not real- watching as people in real life had to do just that- as I had to do just that- it clicked. I got that.

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I learned that what makes you a hero or a villain is your heart. We could all be villains deep down. Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, and even they fail. Even Captain America, supposedly a foundation of truth and everything good- he’s human. He fails. In the end, there is one Hero, and He never fails. (And yes, I just said that. Because it’s true.)

You need to work as a team. Squirrel Girl was enough lesson for me. Kamala Khan, Miles Morales, and T’challa taught me the importance of family. Iron Man taught me to concentrate on today. The Avengers as a whole taught me that life is so much more important that any “greater good”. Life IS the greater good.

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I learned that you are gonna have to find a standard. You’re gonna have to find your code of life, conduct, your reason for why you do what you do, your morals, what you absolutely will not cross and what you might have to. You’re gonna hafta be brave.

Maybe from all the comics, something that resounds loud and clear is that it’s not about you. It. is. not. about. you. Steve Rogers gave his life- many times- for his country. Nat went back to the Red Room, where she’d been broken and torn and made into an assassin, to end it so no other girls would have to go through what she did. Spiderman loses a lot. He loses Aunt May. He wears a mask and fights and still manages to crack a joke because it’s all part of making sure his city’s safe. Need I say more?

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Comics are not perfect. Comics are not clean. There are some really bad things you shouldn’t see, bad elements that are wrong, yes, that’s true. Definitely read with the critical(est) of minds. Marvel isn’t perfect. Far from it- Marvel, DC, and other great comics come from fallen studios churning out stories about fallen people.

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But it’s not fair to say that you can’t learn something from them. You can. Maybe it ain’t in clear black and white, maybe it doesn’t need to be. It’s not fair to say that they don’t teach important lessons. It’s not fair to say that valuing life- at no matter what cost- isn’t a theme worth portraying. Because it is.

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Maybe some of the most important things are displayed in 24 panel art with people wearing Spandex and throwing shields.

I know that’s how I’ve found them.

(not all most important things, mind you, just some. 🙂 )

life is a highway, Jo

 

 

 

I Blame My Sister For My Book Addiction (Love ya!)

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I was a wee 5 year old lassie when I plopped into my sister’s room and announced with all the fervor a little kid can muster- “I’m borrrrrreeedd!”

Huge thanks to my sister for not kicking me out the door on sight. I woulda done that to me if I was 5, so there must surely be a big vault of patience that you have. Somewhere. It’s hidden with your stash of hazelnut coffee creamer.

So, like any good bookdragon studying for dear life older sister, mine grabbed an old Abeka Book literature reader- those thin fourth grade ones- and told me to finish them off.

And thus, I was drawn into the wonderful, beautiful world of stories.

Man, that last sentence was really poetic. 😛

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I soon discovered that if I read for too long, I would get something akin to a headache slash high. I became addicted to books. 😛 That particular reader would be devoured over, and over, and over, and over, and over again for months to come. And then another reader. And another. In fact, I snatched every single Abeka Book reader and ended up stashing them on my bunk so I could read it at well. The internet was unknown at that time. 😛 Mom didn’t like that I was reading outta my grade level.. which I can’t really blame for, because I got ahold of the BJU Literature books and was trying to figure my way through Treasure Island. 

Also happened to be eight at the time. 😛

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Around my 150th time re-reading the Abeka reads- lo, and behold, the stories are actually snippets from BOOKS.

I had to know more.

I think in the process, my sister’s library card had fees ranking in the $5s… hehe. But if she had a problem with it, she never mentioned it- always bringing out other stories for me to devour when I was done one.

It was through my sister I discovered the beautiful world of Narnia (note: Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe will keep kids entertained for HOURS. Hence how me and one of my best irl friends are still in the Narnia fandom- when you’ve started at the tender age of 3, you’re in for life!) I found myself enamored with Little Women and Little House On The Prarie- I could and would and have and will read those books so many times until the covers fell apart- they were portals to worlds, and my imagination was the sweetest ride there. I practically squealed when I found out the Avengers first came from comic books- “IT’S A BOOK IT’S A BOOK”. But that’s for another post.

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The point of all this?

Sometimes we forget the people who start us off on paths that kinda really do change our lives, and books.. stories.. for all the hype they get, they’re kinda underrated.

So thanks Ates. 🙂

Also this is the rather long intro the video below which explains everything I’m too lazy to type. 😛

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a book to read.

And you should go read one too, y’know. 😉

 

life is a highway, Jo