Hopes, Dreams, and Unrealistic Aspirations

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WARNING LONG POST AHEAD PROCEED AT OWN CAUTION

Hi again, lovely people of the internet!

By the time you read this (since I was waay too verbose last time) it’ll be January. 1. 2019.

*screams*

“I wasn’t prepared for this. We can’t let them know anything.”- Kira

Truer words have never been spoken, Kira. But I *am* letting you know some things… not quite sure why.

Ohhh, right! Because I thought it would be a good idea! *facesmacks* It doesn’t seem too bad right now, so… uh…here goes. 🙂

2019 Goals

Life Goals

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  • Get a job. Somehow, someway, I’d really really like to work and save money for even more future stuff- if that’s what God wants. But even not, doing some thing that’s a little more serious than a fandom. 😛
  • Wake up early and get stuff DONE. For Christmas break, my gift to myself was slacking off on everything. Including important, essential things like devotions. And I don’t want to admit that, but I have to. Because starting now, I want to change that, and start being productive.
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With my feet propped up, a’course!
  • Read the whole New Testament and get into Bible Bee’s Summer Study. Last year (which feels like yesterday, probably because it was) I was so blessed by digging deeper into God’s word, and I don’t think I can explain that. It’s so awesome to study the Bible not because anyone says you have to, but because you want to. So I’m looking forward to this!
  • School. Crush it. Defeat the boss villain, move to next level. ‘Nuff said. Oh, and start seriously learning French. And look at ops around.
  • Train.  And by train I mean exercise. Because I’d love to get stronger in that area.
  • Learn as many life skills as I can at this age. They’re life skills. I’ll need them. Some of em are fun!
  • Go to a buskerfest. And get a buskering permit. I doubt I’ll crush this goal, but it won’t be for lack of trying. *grabs hammer*
  • Get offscreen for more than I am on. As much as I love Pinterest, I won’t let it take away time I could use to use other worthy things. Besides, I don’t want to be that kid that never sticks her head out to see the sky.
  • Develop my photography. Compared to my first picture here, I’d glad to say that I’ve grown a tad in the mastery of the lens. But I have a long way to go. So I’d really like to learn to use manual. XD
  • MORE ANDREW PETERSON MUSIC YES BOIII

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Wordy Goals

  • read 100 books. I’m really, really looking forward to this! And I’m counting books of the Bible so technically, I’ve already read four of the hundred I have to read! 😀 But yup, 100 books. Some of which may include War and Peace (HA!) some YA, and alphas. I really love the alpha part XD
  • finish, edit and rewrite Just Come Home. Ahhh, my wittle baby WIP is a year old already! *sighs* It’s gonna take some work, but I’m so doing this. You can’t stop me. It’s not your funeral, after all.
  • look into publishing. O_O WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT DID I SAY WHAT. I hve no clue where to start, I mean, it’s almost 100% sure I’m self-publishing, because honestly, who would take that? But again, if this doesn’t happen, it won’t be because I didn’t try!
  • write at least 500 words a day. I wish I could be meta and go for 1k1day, but I need to LIVE XD so I’m gonna set a reasonable amount for myself. I don’t know what I’ll write, but I’m looking forward to it! (fanfic, short stories, and poems, most likely *cough cough*) (maybe a novel or two) (I haven’t forgotten you Mirages)
  • actually respond to pen pals. 
  • join NaNo. Crush NaNo. Die in NaNo. 
  • Fill up my old notebooks. I have a bunch of old, good notebooks that wouldn’t be used. But I’m gonna take them. And write. Probably drek like on this blog. But it’ll be better than mindlessly scrolling through the web, right?
  • write in this lovely!

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The cover the cover da coverrrrr yay!

I can’t wait to write in it!

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Blogging Goals

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“Awwww yay!” you cry. “The actually fun stuff!”

Ha. Well, what do we have here…

  • have a blogsiversary.  >:) *laughs evilly* I’ve been blogging for practically a whole year, how?? But I know what I’m doing to “celebrate”. And it will be fun. 😉
  • start writing quality posts. I’m the lord of the random, and everything on this blog and this blog itself, is a result of that. So I wanna up the ante and make it a tad more purposeful.
  • enter a few contests and challenges. Like BIBPC. Ohhh and speaking of, Megan, I GET TEN EXTRA POINTS BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH Because this is my picture for Category 4!

Jo-Team Bear- Category 4

I couldn’t change the file name.. but THAT IS A DONKEY. And I’ve saved that just for you since March! 😛 HA! HA! HA! *is so happy right now*

Ahem. Moving on.

  • Design some blogs. If you’re interested, I put up a Services page, so if you want to redesign your blog or need a new button, header, signoff, widgets, or whatever, I’d love to work with ya! And Rebekah’s helping me out too, so I won’t mess anything up! 🙂
  • Keep things running at Welcome To Odyssey. As you know, AIO is my fandom and my fandom is AIO, so I love ranting about everything under the sun that even remotely has something to do with AIO, so I’m looking forward to this!
  • figure out my YT channel. It’s pathetic.

 

B9EF66FA-B504-491B-A2BD-B0E1A3ECDE3BRandom Fun Goals (we’re almost over, hang in there :P)

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  • record more songs and make more audio dramas as part of the Audiosmiths. As bad as my voice is, I love singing.. and I love acting, so win-win! XD
  • beat someone, ANYONE, at checkers! My good friend Denise gave me this awesome set for my birthday, and then proceeded to beat me at checkers.

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WAH.  But ahem. Learning, and playing more offscreen games in general is a plus I’m looking forward to. 🙂

  • go outside more. 
  • dream. 
  • try to keep a thankfulness journal. 
  • eat bacon.
  • make someone smile. 

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Yesterday, I got this framed from a friend.

And I think that’s gonna be my… quote of the year, or whatever.

Call to Me and I will answer you. And show you great and mighty things which you do not know. -Jeremiah 33:3

From the looks of everything, I have it all under control (HA!) But the truth is, I don’t know just what’s going to happen. But God does.

I’m looking forward to the great and might things He has for me, and until then, I’m gonna trust Him and keep driving this hard drive. It has some awesome views along the way.

May the roads be as bumpy as you can handle, that you’ll find rest, and you’ll be fueled up for a hard- but joyful drive. 🙂

 

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So Far…

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School’s been very mean to me. It drones on and on and on anon and then suddenly, “please prepare for a test on section 4A.” Woah, where did that one come from?

To be honest, I’ve paid way more attention to news on A4– Avengers 4, that is… and…

The.

Trailer.

Is.

Out.

Today.

People.

*mind explodes* I’ve been watching it for at least the sixth time today and I have too many theories that will probably kill me.

I’ve also been waiting for anything on Album 66: Trial By Fire and my head hurts with all the possibilities of 1. Skint kidnapping Buck, 2. Buck being adopted, 3. a literal fire. Also, we do need to ask the question WHEN WILL JILLIAN DIE?

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Life’s been hard. There’s been so much tension and tiredness and homework and questions and times when I need. to. get. out and anxiety about the future and frustration and perpetually gritted teeth and always having to push yourself harder and harder even when nobody could care less or has to and screaming and fighting and praying and dying and I just need some peace today and tomorrow and for every second Sunday in May and it’s so hard to believe God is good even when He is and we’re out of bread and I gotta finish and I can’t remember the dratted reference and I’m okay with giving up right now.

Don’t we all? Something tells me I’m not the only one who’s had one or all of the above and much worse. And then I gotta re-learn how to trust again. I gotta re-learn that God is good and He is love and He won’t leave when the guns growl, which is handy because right now I’m afraid I’m short of ammo. So if you want to swap prayer requests, let me know.

And nobody wants to admit that. Nobody wants to admit they’re a quitter. Everyone wants to be the tough hero who gets the job done no matter what the cost. I really want that. I want to prove ’em wrong and wrong and so wrong… even when they’re right.

I guess I’m learning that burden was never mine to carry. That it was God’s all along.

Maybe some things shouldn’t be posted. I know I hate that long post that just lines on about how hard and sad life is, yet here I am writing one just like that. Why am I doing this?

If reading this can help someone, anyone, then it’s worth writing this drek down.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at.

I’m staying up ridiculously late to reads books and waking up ridiculously early to write them. I’m skating backward and falling forward and laughing. And mailing a letter or two.

Oh, and I got up at the crack of dawn for a lousy rendition of We Three Kings, so if you’re interested in notsogood and notsobad music, here you go.

Been wandering around taking random pictures, snapped this lovely one (ha!) and I guess I’ll leave it here.

It’s not Instagram worthy.

It’s not Pinterest worthy.

Good grief that mirror isn’t even the cleanest!

Well, it’s life. The less people feel pressured to display a perfect life on the screen and actually live, the better. The far, far better. And I know I’ve been tempted to do that. To show this aesthetic rose tinted life that’s full of roses and daisies and is just so Chikfila sweet tea wonderful. But it’s not.

That doesn’t mean my life isn’t wonderful. Or that God isn’t working in it. Because He is. More glory to Him, and less to me. I’m 110% okay with that.

Until next time.

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Scribble Scrabble: Snippets, Observations, And A Carol

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Monday. Dreadful, dreadful day. If Saturday brings out the best in us, Monday brings the worst.

Yet today wasn’t all that bad. If you don’t count the dreary sky, aching everything, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife, and *gasp* participles. In all seriousness though, I’m grateful for the day.

One, National Bible Bee Competition (Or Nats for short) started today. It’s unbelievably encouraging to see so many kids come out and own God’s Word and proclaim it, and I’m shook, to understate, to count myself one of the many who joined the Summer Study. Shook, grateful, blessed, have at the thesaurus.

Two, I managed to get out another carol (yes, I’m sorry for buggin’ y’all it’s just really fun to play these hymns! Even if my renditions are horrible XD) O Come, O Come Emmanuel brings yet hope for me, hope and a promise.

(Also, shoutout if you want to hear a specific song! I’ll do my best not to mess it up. 🙂 )
Hymn Print O Come O Come Emmanuel by LamplightsPrints on Etsy, $14.00

Three, snippets.

But no context so you all can suffer. 😉

She’s alone for Christmas, and somehow it hurts more and more every year.

But come now, in the deep bustle in New York City, you’d think a few more people would be flying the day solo. Right?

_Not a soul_, Andrea Marti thought bitterly as she looked around her, hand clutched on skateboard as she crossed the street. There was a couple walking in front of her, more like they were slow dancing to some music only they could hear, a guy eagerly holding his small- daughter, it had to be, she was so tiny, an old wrinkled man and an old wrinkled lady, laughing as they looked around at the gently falling snow. And some pigeon was nestled against a dog.

A pigeon had a dog.

A pigeon.

Writing seems to help a lot with the craziness of life, and Just Come Home is almost done.

Almost.

I’m a mess of a writer.

But here’s a snippet from that too. 😛

“Little annoying brat-how dare she say that about Mom the way she did..” Zeke muttered my thoughts, handing me a water bottle. He was being unusually kind and helpful, which meant I was in worse than I thought I was. He was the one who got Mom to check on me, apparently I was thrashing in my sleep or something. I don’t really wanna talk about it. But it was bad enough to let me stay home from school indefinitely. And I should know, my head was throbbing.

And to think I wanted to publish this mess of a story. *sighs* it’s my mess however- so at least there’s that small comfort.

And besides my thoughts, well, that’s it. 🙂

Oh, no. you don’t want to know about my thoughts. That’s even more of a mess. Like how sometimes I feel bad for praying the same thing over and over but I know I mean it and it’s hard to understand that God doesn’t tire of me babbling the same thing; like how hope is something everyone wants but nobody quite knows how to get; like how heroes, even fictional ones, mean the world to us because if we’re honest we want to be the heroes; like how the mind can be quickly swayed by what’s around it; like how there should be an episode where Connie plans Trent and Mandy’s wedding cause how awesome would that be; like how the future seems super uncertain and trust is shaky; like how in the world is this month over already; like how am I gonna handle school and life; like why can’t I think straight for once.

I think I’ll leave you to you own thoughts now- I’ve bombarded you with words long enough. 🙂

Scribble Scrabble: Come Behold The Wonderous Mystery And Comftyness

I have no excuses for this.

Zero.

Nothing to defend how horrible, utterly horrible this whole thing is.  And just when I thought I was doing pretty good at the whole YouTube thing, the background is a horrible mess. Remind me next time to use a recorder. Anyhoo. Hopefully the audio will be less terrible than the cover for it? 🙂

Come Behold The Wondrous Mystery is one of my favorite songs, not just because it’s not necessarily a Christmas song, and not just because Matt Papa is awesome (he is), but the message is.. well, of hope. And we could use some of that. Hope you enjoy the cover and aren’t too disgusted with me at the completely aesthetic-less background.

Come Behold The Wondrous Mystery...

🙂

Now the fun, semi better part! BIBPC! 😀 This is for the first category, cozy!

Jo Team Bear Category 1

Don’t that look cozy? No? If this looks off, that’s because it is. XD I’m trying to master the art of manual photography. It’s harder than I thought it would be. But it’s fun too, so that makes up for it! 😛 Go Team Bear! (Seriously, though, I loved setting this up! I just wish I got the Christmas lights I spent a goo ten minutes preparing in the shot. Humph!)

Let’s see, what else is there that may be considered newsworthy?

A Wrinkle In Time was a confusing, interesting, mind-boggling book, and I’m glad I read it. Like, really glad. But also really confused. XD Next to tackle is Neil Flambe And the Marco Polo Murders. This should be interesting.

Currently enjoying The Winter Soldier because why not and plus it’s story research (I’m serious, y’all!) Sending emails and eating croutons. Planning for the next epic failure of a carol cover.

And writing this wee story for Write Christmas. Looking forward to that.

This post has been so not original. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway. 🙂